Getting Jason Morgan Laid
by Atuliel
Summary: AH. Maxie gets sick of Jason's belligerence and takes it upon herself to get him happy.
1. The List

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

The penthouse was disturbed from its previous state of silence when Maxie flung open the door, yanking Spinelli along behind her as though she had a puppy on a leash. Jason, who had just sat down at his desk with a beer and paperwork, glanced up in annoyance at the commotion that had taken the form of a petite blonde.

"Spinelli, I really don't want to hear anymore talk about your life being too dangerous for me," Maxie was saying, flinging her purse onto the coffee table and making herself at home on the couch. "So you work for Jason. That doesn't mean you need to push every person you know away like he does."

Jason glanced at the girl, displaying his irritation in a cold glare, which she ignored.

"Maximista does not appear to understand," Spinelli replied hurriedly, "th-the great sacrifice that the Defenders of the Night like the mighty and noble Stone Cold must make in order to keep their Most Sacred Ones safe. It would be unfair to those that are most important to the Jackal to keep them in his life, as they could suffer the most terrible of fates."

"Don't be ridiculous," she returned, standing and seizing her friend's laptop, much to his dismay. "Now let's get your research done on this Karpov guy so you can work on my problem."

"Bu-but—"

"Wait a second," Jason interjected, standing slowly.

The hacker looked up at his master in dismay, spying a most unpleasant glint in the much larger man's eye. Maxie watched him expectantly.

"What?" she prompted him.

Jason turned his menacing glare on Spinelli. "You told her about Karpov?" he asked slowly.

"Oh, relax, it's not like I'm gonna tell anyone," Maxie blurted before the Grasshopper could respond.

"I can't trust you not to," Jason shot back, glowering down at her.

"Spinelli does—"

"If I may interject, the Grasshopper does not wish to contradict the Master," he cut in, pushing himself physically between Jason and Maxie, "but he can guarantee that Maximista can be trusted as well as Stone Cold can guarantee the Fair Ma—"

"Spinelli," Jason cut him off, firmly.

Upon hearing this, Maxie grew a devilish smile and her eyes lit up in a way that Jason recognized well from Carly. Being grilled by an overexcited blonde was not what he was in the mood for at the moment, so he tried to relay that to her with an exaggerated scowl. Unfortunately, this never seemed to work with women and it didn't then.

"Many apologies, Stone Cold, the Jackal's tongue merely sli—"

"The Fair who?" Maxie interrupted, shooting a grin at Jason. "Ooh, are you talking about—"

"The Fair Valkyrie!" Spinelli squeaked sharply. "As Maximista knows, the Stone Cold one and the Valkyrie are, as it were, BFF."

Jason arched a brow at him and placed his hands on his hips, confused.

"Oh, the Jackal forgets that not all parties present are aware of cyber lingo," he rambled on, nonstop as usual. "BFF refers to the everlasting friendship and bond between the Master and the Valkyrie—"

"It means best friends forever," Maxie cut in, shaking her head. "But Carly is not who you were talking about. Because you said, 'the Fair _Ma,_' not 'the Fair _Va_.'"

Jason rubbed his forehead and grabbed his beer, making his way toward the couch to leave Spinelli to explain himself away.

"Come on, who is it, stud?" the blonde asked, dismissing Spinelli as she followed the mobster to the couch. "I wanna know who can melt that 'stone cold' heart of yours." She plopped onto the couch next to him, sitting a little too close for comfort. "Who turns you into a puddle of goo? Who's the apple of your eye? Your other half?"

"None of your business," he growled, taking a long drink.

"With all due respect, Maximista, it is unwise to pursue such a pa—"

"I bet she's a bitch," Maxie commented nonchalantly to her friend. "I mean, Jason's other half? Gotta be bitchy."

"Stop," Jason said sharply, startling himself, even, "talking, okay?"

"Don't be so hostile," she replied, unperturbed. "I'm just curious. Seriously, I'd be happy for you if it turned out you were actually in love with some woman."

He eyed her suspiciously, clutching his beer in one hand and keeping the other poised in midair, prepared to rub his forehead, as if to rub away the blonde's presence. Maxie smiled at him and Spinelli beamed cheerfully, as it seemed his best friend and his master would actually start getting along.

"Really?" the computer geek blurted, delighted. "Maximista would support Stone Cold and make am—"

"Of course I would," she cut in, before he got too carried away. "It would mean you could _finally_ get laid."

"Excuse me?" Jason said, unsure of what else to say.

"Oh, come on, look at you!" Maxie continued, leaving both the Grasshopper and the Master speechless. "You've got bags under your eyes, that scowl men get that means they aren't getting any, and you're even crabbier than usual with everyone. Especially women. And you're also very, very tense. Which means you're holding back on something and you need a nice round of sex to get it out. At least if you got laid, you'd stop being such an ass with me and Spinelli. At the very least."

Jason glared at her and shook his head.

"Maximista, I do not rec—"

"I do _not_ need to have sex," he ground out, gritting his teeth and clenching his fist almost unconsciously.

"Yes, you do," she countered, smirking. "My guess is that it's been a…oh, probably five, six month dry spell for you. Not healthy for a man your age."

"Will you leave?"

"No," she said simply. "Seriously, my advice: get laaaaid. And soon. You are _way_ grumpy. Besides, it can't be that hard to get a woman to have sex with you, especially with _your_ body."

_That_ gave Jason a pause.

"M-Maximista, y-you have seen th-the Master, I rather, eh…Sto-stone Cold in his—regrettably—bare an-and clo-clothless state?" Spinelli managed, turning a rather bad color of white.

Maxie furrowed her brow up at her friend.

"When the hell have you seen me naked?" Jason translated sharply.

The blonde head whipped back to face her victim. "Well, not completely naked, but naked with a towel on!" she said cheerfully, as though that was better.

"…When?" was all the mobster could manage to choke out.

"Last week. I came here to complain to Spinelli and he wasn't here," Maxie explained, smiling. "I was about to go upstairs, but then I saw you walking out of the bathroom, still all wet and steamy from a nice, hot shower. You're enough to make a girl's knees weak—it's too bad you're such a jerk. In fact, I almost thought about jumping you and having meaningless sex with you, but I'm trying to stop doing that and, besides, that would have been way awkward."

Jason was pretty sure she had said all this without even taking a breath. He blinked at her slowly and shook his head, turning back to his half-finished beer.

"Anyway, it shouldn't be that hard," she continued. "You could even go into Jake's and pick up a hooker or something. Of course, you'd have to pay that way, but—"

"Just stop," Jason blurted, freezing in mid-motion in order to stop himself from slapping her. "Stop talking and get out."

She merely chuckled. "Like I said, you need to get laid."

"I do _not_," he snarled back, glaring at her.

Spinelli stood there helplessly, unsure of how to stop the impending argument from escalating.

"Get out now," Jason snapped.

"Yes, you do. And no," she replied calmly. "You can't kick me out. This is Spinelli's house, too."

"I want you to leave," he tried again, attempting to make it very clear. "And I want you to leave now."

Apparently it wasn't sinking in.

"What are you gonna do if I don't leave? You can't do anything to me," she scoffed, grinning.

He stood sharply and she shot to her feet next to him, startled in spite of herself. Jason clenched his fists at his sides, muscles bunching up so he looked about ten times bigger. Maxie scowled at him and picked up her purse, sticking her lower lip out at him in a pout. Spinelli stood to the side, completely useless.

"Fine, I'll go," she—finally—conceded.

"Thank you," Jason grunted, plopping back down on the couch as Maxie slammed the door behind her.

* * *

As angering as Jason was, Maxie had decided that he would be her new project. She honestly thought he needed to get some before he would have an attitude change. It was only on a downward spiral. He used to be civil and now he couldn't stand it when she was in the room. She simply couldn't tolerate him kicking her out and keeping her away from Spinelli. She needed Spinelli just as much as that big ogre did, so she intended on fixing that grump, no matter what it took.

She flew down the hall determinedly, startling Matt, who was coming out of Georgie's room just as she came in.

"What? No witty insult today?" he called after her. "I'm hurt."

Maxie turned in her doorway and grinned at him brightly.

"Bite me."

She slammed her door shut and sat down at her desk, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen so she could get to work. All she could think to do was to make a list of the women in Port Charles, then go down that list and find at least _one_ that would sleep with Jason. On one side, she wrote 'Single' and on the other she wrote 'Taken.' So, those women were taken, but they could be a viable option if none of the single women worked out. She'd just have to break them up, too, which would be more work.

Under the single women, she jotted quickly the names Sam McCall (fresh on her break-up with Lucky, she might need to get it on with someone), Maxie Jones (an option if she was desperate enough), Leyla Mir (who apparently was attracted to Spinelli but wasn't going there unless he pursued her?), Nadine Crowell (who seemed in to Nikolas), Kelly Lee (who probably wasn't ready to get laid after her nympho thing), Claudia Zacchara (who also seemed in to Nikolas, Ric, Sonny, and pretty much every other thing that moved), Epiphany Johnson (who she wrote down with much chuckling), and, after much hesitation, Elizabeth Webber. She may have disliked Elizabeth, but she was still a woman, whether she considered herself an angel who had had immaculate conception or not. Maxie was pretty positive the woman still had urges.

On the other side of the paper, for the taken women, she wrote Robin Scorpio (who she doubted would go for it), Carly Jacks (who would probably jump at the opportunity), Lainey Winters (who she was pretty sure was involved with some guy she'd seen around the hospital), Diane Miller (who probably wouldn't want to sleep with a client), Alexis Davis (who probably wouldn't go for it), Lulu Spencer (who _wouldn't_ go for it), and Kate Howard (who didn't seem to like Jason anyway).

Upon reviewing this list of people, she crossed off the following: Maxie Jones, Robin Scorpio, Alexis Davis, Lulu Spencer, and Kate Howard. She wasn't actually willing to sleep with Jason herself, she realized, and it would be weird if Jason slept with Robin, with that being her relative and all. Alexis, she realized, would be disgusting, considering Jason had slept with Sam before. Lulu was out of town and therefore unavailable, even if she would have done it. Besides, ew. And Kate—well, she wasn't willing to lose her job over this.

Maxie took a deep breath, looking over her list, and gave an almost unconscious nod. She would, she decided, go to Sam's early the next morning to talk to her about this. What a wonderful next few days this would be.


	2. Sam

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Maxie knocked rapidly on Sam's door at six thirty in the morning and huffed impatiently. It had been tough enough getting up at five thirty, but then Matt drank the coffee that was supposed to be waiting for her when she got out of the shower. Without caffeine, how was she supposed to be awake for this?

Instead, Maxie had been forced to stop at Kelly's for a to-go cup, which was beyond awful because the workers there apparently thought you needed one cup of water and five cups of coffee beans. It was bad enough when Lulu worked there and you couldn't get your coffee on time—now it was thicker than lard.

The petite blonde glanced at her watch, scowling. She had to be at Kate's office by seven and it took that long just to get to the Metro Court itself. What was taking Sam so long?

Pulling the end of her sleeve up over her fist, she pounded on the door as hard as she could until, at long last, the brunette swung open the door and glared indignantly at the intruder.

"What the he—"

Maxie huffed. "Well, it's about time you opened up."

She brushed past Sam and made herself at home on the couch, bracing herself for the conversation ahead.

"What were you doing, anyway?" she asked, not really concerned with it.

"Um…sleeping?" Sam snapped, annoyed. "What are you doing here?"

She swung the door shut and came to join the blonde on the couch, having decided against attempting to battle her until she left. Shifting the blue men's shirt on her chest so her breasts didn't slide out, Sam relaxed against the pillows and crossed her legs, attempting to look comfortable while she waited for Maxie to spit it out and get out. Lucky was waiting for her in the bedroom and they had been in the middle of a rather good lay when Maxie had come pounding on the door.

"Well, I decided to drop by because I wanted to ask you about something," she hurried on, glancing at her watch.

Sam blinked. "Yeah?"

"I know that it's only been like, what? A week since you and Lucky broke up?" Maxie said busily, sipping her coffee and turning a shade green shortly after. "But you've gotta be feeling seriously lacking, especially in the area of sex. So I was wondering if you'd want to hook up with Jason."

The brunette took exactly one second to stare at her friend before busting out laughing, erasing all signs of her previous arousal.

Maxie sighed, annoyed. All right, so this plan wasn't working out so well so far. She still had nine women left on the list, even if some of them were obviously not going to work out. Like Epiphany.

She found a smile quirking up the corners of her lips momentarily before she focused on the gasping woman before her. Sam eventually found enough air to speak and gazed at Maxie with a slight smirk still hovering over her lips.

"Are you being serious?" she asked, voice cracking as giggles managed to scrape past her words.

"I was until you reacted that way," Maxie replied boredly, sighing.

"Why would I sleep with Jason?" Sam inquired, all traces of laughter shoved aside for the moment. "I mean, it's hard enough to be in the same room with him, let alone be doing…that."

"Fine, fine, I get your dumb reasons," she cut in before the brunette went on. "Big bad history comes back to bite you in the ass, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I guess I'll just have to find someone else."

Sam furrowed her brow. "To sleep with me? Maxie, you do—"

"Not to sleep with _you_," she interrupted, rolling her eyes. "God, not everything is about you. To sleep with Jason."

"What?"

Maxie rolled her eyes, irritated by Sam's lack of understanding, and reached into her purse to dig out the list of names and a pen. After scratching off Sam, she shoved the list in front of her friend and awaited her reaction.

"You mean you actually went to all these women an—" she began, incredulous.

"I've only been to you," she cut her off. "The other crossed off names are people I decided against. The rest are the people I'm going to go to."

"And you're going to ask them as straight-out as you did me?" Sam asked, arching a brow. "I don't think that's going to fly very well."

"Give me a _little_ credit! I just figured you've already done it with him, so I didn't need to work you up to the idea," Maxie shot back, offended. "I have more tact than that."

"…Why are you doing this?"

The brunette looked utterly dumbfounded, as though she wondered if her dear little blonde friend hadn't lost her mind.

"Because he's crabby," Maxie said simply.

Sam couldn't help but let out a laugh at that. "You're doing this because he's crabby and you want him to be happy?"

"Yeah. He treats everyone a lot better then and lets me be around Spinelli," she replied, shrugging. "Why?"

"Oh…I…see you've put Elizabeth on here," Sam said, not answering as she stared down at the paper, gripping it tightly in her fists.

"Yeah. I figure, hey, she's got to get her kicks sometime, too," she said nonchalantly.

Thrusting the list back at Maxie, Sam folded her arms tightly across her chest and adopted an expression similar to that which Lulu pointed at her rival when faced with Johnny and Maxie's friendship. The blonde furrowed her brow at the attitude and stuffed her list back in her purse, watching the brunette open and close her mouth in a sad attempt at finding words.

"You really think Elizabeth can satisfy a man's needs?" she managed at long last, sneering.

Maxie eyed her. "I wouldn't know. I just know that she is single and she does happen to be a woman."

"And you think the town saint will be willing to tarnish her reputation by sleeping with a killer?" Sam snapped, bristling.

"I don't know. God, what's with you?" she asked suspiciously. "Anyway, I thought I'd ask her. She used to be friends with him, so…_oooh_."

"What?"

"_That's_ why you're getting all huffy," she said with a grin. "Cause you were jealous of Elizabeth and Jason's relationship when you were going out and you don't want to be proven right, because you don't want to see Jason in another relationship. Am I right?"

"Wha—no! No, that is—"

Maxie beamed. "I am so right."

"No, you aren't," she protested, scowling. "I'm just—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she cut her off, again. "I, unlike _some_ people I know, actually have a job, so I can't sleep in all day." She stood. "Have fun with the green monster of jealousy."

With one last grin, Maxie ducked out of Sam's apartment and Lucky came out of hiding. Staring into space, Sam found herself wondering if what Maxie had said was true. Was she really jealous of Jason and Elizabeth? Why should she be? She was with Lucky, happier than happy in a healthy relationship. Yet the thought of Elizabeth actually being with Jason infuriated her. Perhaps knowing that the two could never truly be a couple had kept her from anger previous to this.

She jumped when she felt Lucky's arms wrap around her from behind.

"I'm sorry," he apologized lowly, kissing her neck. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh…that's okay," she breathed.

"What was that all about?" he asked, seating himself next to her.

"Just Maxie…having another problem with work," Sam lied, surprised at how easily it was to lie to Lucky.

She hadn't done it in a long time, but here she was. Doing it again. Because of Jason.

* * *

Who was, in the meantime, being extremely annoyed by his 'apprentice.' Spinelli had not shut up about working out, manliness, and the mob business since Maxie had left the previous evening. Jason almost—_almost_—thought it would have been better if Maxie were still there, interrogating him about 'The Fair Ma.' He could have strangled the hacker for that stupid slip-up, but luckily Maxie hadn't caught on.

It was hard enough to live without The Fair Maternal One without Spinelli constantly referring to her and her sons. Jason knew he had dug his own hole with Elizabeth and the path his life had taken, but he didn't see why he had to constantly be reminded of his 'inner pain,' as Spinelli called it. He could only hope that Maxie had already forgotten about it, or at least wouldn't bother to bring it up again. Too many people already knew about their secret—he certainly didn't need the blonde to find out.

"If the Master would only _attempt_ to pass on his great and extensive knowledge," Spinelli was saying, following Jason into the living room, "then the Jackal could try to live up to his manliness and perhaps win the heart of the Fair Maximista!"

Jason turned on his heel and held up his hand to stop him from going on.

"Spinelli, I'm sorry that she saw me half-naked," he said firmly, trying to get this into the kid's head. "You don't know how sorry. But just because she apparently liked my body, does not mean that you need to change yourself."

With that, he walked to the closet and slipped on his jacket.

"You're leaving?" the younger man squeaked.

"Uh, yeah. I have some shipments to oversee at the warehouse," Jason explained. "I'll be back later."

He opened the door only to find his ex-girlfriend with her hand poised to knock. He furrowed his brow at Sam, who simply smiled anxiously, Jason glanced back at Spinelli, but the hacker seemed just as surprised as he was to see her.

"Hi," she said, giving a small wave.


	3. Leyla & Nadine

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Staring down at his ex-fiance, Jason could only think of one thing to say. _What the fuck are you doing here?_ Thinking this might be a tad harsh, he amended it aloud.

"What are you doing here?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably, clearly expecting a warmer welcome. He couldn't find it within him to offer her anything nicer than a soft(er) glare (than usual), hanging half out his door in preparation to leave. Spinelli waited behind him in a surprising moment of silence, which Jason was grateful for.

"I, uh, came to tell you something you might want to know," she replied, gaining back some of that sexual confidence she'd lost when they broke up.

Furrowing his brow, he simply stared at her, waiting for her to explain.

"About Maxie," Sam blurted when he gave her his usual frozen stare.

Jason glanced toward his hacker expectantly, but his grasshopper merely shrugged, so he turned back to the woman in his doorway.

"What about her?" he snipped impatiently.

"Well, she's…how do I put this delicately?" she said slowly, grating on Jason's nerves with how long she was taking. "She's trying to find…a woman to, um…well, to have sex with you."

Shocked, all he could do was gape at the brunette. Maxie was trying to get him a woman? His previous lines of thought came to a screeching halt as this one took over, pushing him into red alert. Why had Spinelli decided to fall for someone so troublesome?

* * *

Maxie strode off the elevator with a bounce in her step, on her way to visit Robin. It was the perfect excuse to be in the hospital and start working on the next two women on her list: Leyla and Nadine. Both seemed to be in to other men, but since Maxie had caught Nadine in Matt's room, she assumed she wouldn't be against having meaningless sex with other guys. Or at least she hoped she wouldn't. And she _knew_ Leyla wouldn't, because she'd gotten together with Patrick.

As luck would have it, both nurses were standing just a few feet off, on the other side of the nurse's hub.

"I just don't get it," Nadine was whining. "Why am I so attracted to someone who's in love with someone else? Am I just begging for rejection? Do I have a complex?"

"I'm not sure I can answer that sort of question," the other nurse replied, smirking. "We may need Lainey to identify a problem like that."

"Yeah, like I want to involve _more_ people in this," she said irritably.

"Look, I'm sure Nikolas cares about you—"

"But he just needs some time to get over Emily, right?" Nadine cut her off, scowling.

Maxie shook her head, rolling her eyes. Clearly, Nadine was not a solid investment. Just as she was about to walk off, out of hiding, Elizabeth appeared at the desk, setting down a chart before noticing the blonde. She gave a pinched smile, as was her duty, and Maxie offered a smirk.

"Can I help you, Maxie?" Elizabeth offered indifferently.

Clearly that wasn't high on her list of priorities.

"Actually, yeah, do you know what floor Robin is on?" she asked politely.

"Robin just went on lunch break with Dr. Drake," she explained, eyes on her computer. "They're probably at Kelly's."

"Oh, well, I'll just wait here for her," Maxie said cheerfully. "It's not that important."

Elizabeth gave her a cool glance before turning back to her job, ignoring the blonde. Maxie watched the nurse thoughtfully, observing the tense frame and the stiff way she went about her duties. What appeared to be poise and focus to the passing glance was truly determination to stay awake, from what the blonde could see. In fact, the nurse checked the same chart three times before realizing it was the wrong one.

Maybe Elizabeth needed to get laid, too. She certainly couldn't keep working like _this_.

Leaning forward on the hub, Maxie put on her sweetest face to open up the conversation.

"Elizabeth, do you—"

"_Maxie_!"

Jason's powerful voice practically echoed throughout the room as he stomped off the elevator in her direction. She had never seen the mobster so angry, yet she couldn't, as usual, muster up the feeling of fear that his cold glares were intended to elicit. Jason took only four solid steps to reach her and, when he did, he clenched his fists, as though resisting the urge to shake her.

"I need to talk to you," he said, voice much softer this time, as many of the inhabitants of the room were staring.

Including Elizabeth, who looked as though she had just seen a ghost, she was so white. Maxie didn't get much time to dwell on that thought, as Jason took her by the arm and hauled her off toward the waiting area.

"I told you that I do not need to have sex," he growled lowly, hunching over to keep their conversation nice and private. "That didn't mean go through a list of women and find me someone to sleep with."

Jason hadn't ever said this much to her in one meeting. Or ever, she was pretty sure.

"How did you kn—"

"Sam told me," he cut her off, eyes shining at her fiercely. "Now _stop_ harassing these women and let it go."

Giving her one last warning glare, Jason brushed past her and headed back toward the elevator. Maxie turned, watching him in consternation. She couldn't believe Sam would rat her out like that. She knew Sam was capable of many things, but she hadn't thought she would ever turn on _her_.

Jason and Elizabeth offered one another curt nods as he stepped into the elevator. Maxie furrowed her brow, then tightened her jaw and strode back toward the nurse's hub. If anything, Jason's little warning had only strengthened her determination.

Leyla was next on her list. And she was conveniently at the nurse's hub, alone this time.

"Hi, Leyla," she greeted her cheerfully, plopping her purse in front of the nurse.

"Hello, Maxie. What can I do for you?" Leyla said primly, writing absently in a chart.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something," she replied, smiling.

"Oh, what? Is it Spinelli? Because I truly don't want to—"

"It's not about Spinelli," she assured her. "I was actually wondering what you thought of his roommate. You know, Jason."

"Oh." Leyla blinked. "He's…polite, I suppose. Seems to be a pretty kind person, besides his occupation, of course."

"Yeah, yeah, but I mean, what do you think about him for, like…dating material?" Maxie inquired almost impatiently, perking up.

Beyond Leyla, Elizabeth dropped a folder to the floor and hastily gathered it up, ignoring the stares she received. Maxie arched a brow before turning back to her current victim.

"I don't think he's my type," the nurse replied, chuckling. "I prefer someone with a career that doesn't involve illegal activities, for one. Besides, even if he is polite, he doesn't talk very much and I like my man to at least be able to ask me how my day was."

"Oh," she said, deflating.

"Unless you mean for you?" Leyla amended quickly. "Because if you're asking that, I honestly don't think I know you well enou—"

"No, it's not for me," she interrupted, sighing. "Thanks, anyway."

"We—"

Maxie was already walking away. Seating herself in the waiting area, she pulled out the list again and crossed off Leyla and Nadine. Too bad. She could have seen them with Jason. Then again, Nadine was too quirky and cheerful. Jason needed someone who was sort of normal and calm, not Miss Mary Sunshine 24/7. Leyla was too career-oriented and straight-laced. He needed someone with a wild streak, some adventure in her, who cared about something else besides medical charts.

At this, she considered crossing off Epiphany and Diane, but she was too curious on how those conversations would go. Allowing herself a small grin at Epiphany's name, Maxie stuffed the list in her purse again and went back to waiting for Robin's arrival.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait long, as the happy couple came parading in with their bunches of baby love. Patrick had his arms wrapped around Robin's shoulders, kissing her cheek from behind as they scooted off the elevator. Maxie smiled in spite of herself and headed to meet them at the nurse's hub, noting that Elizabeth was watching the two as well. An almost pleasant smile rested on the nurse's features, something the blonde wasn't used to seeing on her. But then it slowly drained away, leaving a miserable, hollow shell behind. She quickly scurried away.

Maxie frowned and shook her head of the nurse, turning back to Robin. Patrick was already walking away—she counted herself lucky that she'd missed the lovey-dovey goodbye.

"Maxie, what are you doing here?" Robin greeted her delightedly.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something," she replied with a light smile.

"Okay, come on over here."

Maxie soon found herself sitting right back where she'd been only moments ago and turned to Robin, frowning in thought. She could trust Robin, unlike Sam. Clearly the woman she'd thought was her friend had other agendas, but Robin she could talk to.

"So what is it you want to talk about?" her pregnant cousin asked with that glowing smile she'd had ever since she got pregnant.

"Jason Morgan," she said simply, watching as the smile faded to confusion to a scowl.

From the unpleasant look in Robin's eye, Maxie could tell this was going to be a wonderful conversation. Not.


	4. Kelly & Epiphany

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

"What are you doing to Jason?" Robin asked agitatedly, tapping her nails impatiently on the arm of her chair.

Offended, Maxie frowned and went to stand. "Well, if you're gonna take that attitude—"

"No. Sit down and tell me," she ordered, grabbing the blonde's wrist.

After considering blowing her cousin off and executing a dramatic exit, Maxie sat down across from her and chose to confide her plan in someone who _wouldn't_ go rushing off to tell Jason the first chance they got. A wicked gleam entered her eye as she considered how wonderful it would be to toy with Sam's lingering affections for Jason, now that the bitch had decided to double-cross her. Robin arched a brow at the fiendish smirk that fluttered across Maxie's features and braced herself.

"Okay, so, you know how Spinelli and I are friends and I'm always going over to the penthouse to talk to him and stuff?" the blonde blurted rapidly, automatically moving into storytelling mode.

Robin answered with a nod.

"Well, sometimes Jason is there. And he never wants me to be there—"

"I can't imagine why," she muttered sarcastically.

Ignoring this, the blonde continued, "But lately he's getting worse and worse about it, which is simply unacceptable. I need to talk to Spinelli and Jason is going to have to deal with that."

"So…you're going to do what about him kicking you out?" she asked uncertainly.

"I'm going to make him happy," Maxie said, as though it were obvious.

Knowing the blonde all too well, Robin bolted up straight, grabbing her arm in alarm.

"You can_not_ sleep with Jason!" she protested immediately.

The busy doctors, nurses, and patients promptly stopped what they were doing to eye the two in dismay. This being their second loud interruption of the day, Epiphany immediately yelled at her staff to get back to work, ignoring the two girls in the waiting area.

Maxie turned back to her pregnant confidante. "_I'm_ not going to sleep with Jason," she corrected her, rolling her eyes. "I'm trying to find someone _else_ to sleep with him."

"What?"

Already digging in her purse, she shoved her list in front of the doctor and allowed her to do a once-over. Robin raised her head, looking a little sick.

"You asked Sam's _mother_?" she inquired disgustedly.

"Ew, no. I was considering her as an option, until I realized what you did," Maxie explained, sighing. "So far, no luck. I've been to Sam, Nadine, and Leyla. Nothing. So I was wondering if yo—"

"I am _not_ going to sleep with him," Robin cut her off, scowling.

Maxie sighed, rolling her eyes. "If you would let me _finish_, I was going to ask if you thought any of the remaining women on the list would be good chances."

Rather than helping her, Robin thrust the list back into her lap and shook her head rapidly.

"I'm not going to help you victimize Jason," she said firmly. "Look, if he wants to have sex with someone, he will find that person himself."

"I don't think so," she disagreed thoughtfully. "He seems more of the 'it's too dangerous to even look at me' type. Plus, from what I've seen, he doesn't know squat about women."

"Okay, fine, he won't find that person," she snapped, standing irritably. "But whether he does or doesn't, it's none of your business. You can always call Spinelli or talk to him at Kelly's or something, but just leave Jason alone. He's in enough pain without your meddling."

Maxie furrowed her brow. "What _is_ it with people and talking about Jason's pain? Like the rest of us don't have any? What makes his pain so different and special?"

Before Robin could answer, Elizabeth came walking up with a stack of charts. The doctor opened her mouth to speak, but clamped up tight and gave a tight smile at the sight of the nurse. Maxie huffed. Just when she thought she was going to get an answer out of someone….

"They need you on four, Robin," Elizabeth informed her, all business. "Your liver patient from last week is back in. Top chart."

Robin swept it off the top and looked over it. "They have him on an IV?" she inquired busily, ignoring the blonde.

"Yes," she replied, then hurried off to do another doctor's bidding.

Watching the brunette scamper off, Robin heaved a sigh and turned back to Maxie.

"I have to go, Maxie," she said, as though she hadn't witnessed what just happened. "I'll talk to you about this later."

"Sure."

_I'll just have to make myself sadly unavailable_, Maxie thought impishly.

Sitting there in thought, she watched the nurses and doctors as they hurried past her and she huffed. There were only four available women left on her list and she was losing confidence that she would find someone for Jason to sleep with. Pulling her list out again, she glanced over it and jotted a couple notes at the bottom: normal/calm but with a wild/adventurous streak. She figured if none of these women worked, she could find someone for him based on what she thought was wrong with each of them.

Another thought occurred to her at that moment: Jason didn't know anything about women. Maxie sighed and added that to her list of back-up plans. Teaching him about women would be a necessity if he was going to stay happy…or not horny anymore, anyway.

Just as she was tucking away her list, she spied the OBGYN walking down the hallway separating the main room from the patients' rooms. Shooting up into a standing position, she chased down the doctor quickly, hoping to get a quick answer so she could get back to work.

"Dr. Lee!" Maxie called.

She turned swiftly, the shadow of a smile she'd been wearing dissolving at the sight of the petite blonde.

"Yes, Maxie, what is it?" she asked irritably.

"Well, I needed to ask you—"

"Look, if you're 'pregnant' again, could you please find another doctor to fool?" Kelly snipped, scowling.

Clearly, she was still holding a grudge about that. Donning that snarky smirk she always had at the ready, Maxie placed a hand on her hip and eyed the doctor thoughtfully. What was the best way to embarrass her?

"No, actually, I was just wondering what you thought about having sex with Jason Morgan," she said sweetly, grinning. "I mean, you're a nympho, right? So it shouldn't be too big of a problem for you."

Kelly's cheeks brightened and she narrowed her eyes at the blonde, glancing around the hallway sheepishly.

"That is _personal_, Maxie," she snapped defensively. "I'd appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut about my business."

"Right back at you," she shot back coolly.

Realizing her mistake, the doctor took a step back and shook her head.

"I have a patient to attend to," Kelly murmured, quickly retreating.

"I was being serious," Maxie called after her. "What about Jason?"

Turning briefly, she shook her head. "No," she said simply.

Maxie rolled her eyes. Kelly was a no-go then. Reviewing the doctor's qualities in her head, she discovered that the wild streak was a bit _too_ much so for Jason's tastes, probably. Besides, Kelly was too blunt and wild. He needed someone kind of quiet and sweet, for the most part, although not too much so, because with the whole 'danger' thing he needed a woman who would put her foot down. This was going to be harder than she thought.

* * *

Jason settled back behind his desk, rubbing his forehead heavily. Seeing Elizabeth at the hospital had been like a breath of fresh air. Then he went back to being choked in this lifeless existence. Well, not entirely lifeless.

Maxie was enough to drive a saint to drink.

At the thought of alcohol, he unlocked the desk drawer where he kept a bottle of scotch ready for consumption and poured himself a glass. Sam had attempted to calm him after telling him the news, as had Spinelli, but it was no use. What Maxie was doing was too infuriating for those two to keep him from flying off the handle.

He found himself embarrassed after having yelled so ferociously in front of Elizabeth, which was why he had pulled Maxie off to the waiting area. Besides, she didn't need to hear of other women having a chance with him when they could never have a future. He missed her more than he could really say, but it was for the best.

As he poured himself another glass, the office door was flung open and Carly came bursting in, tearful and upset.

"Jason! I'm so glad you're here!" she cried, falling into the chair across from him.

Guards. They really _didn't_ do any good.

"What is it, Carly?" Jason inquired indifferently, sipping at his drink.

"Jax took more of his things out of the house today," she sobbed, clinging to the edge of his desk desperately. "I can't believe this is happening! And it's all because of Kate. She's trying to steal him from me and it's working! I could just claw that woman's eyes out!"

She continued on in this way, whining at him even though he only gave an occasional 'hmph.' The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he'd become a therapist for most of the citizens of Port Charles. They all came to him to dump their problems on, in spite of the fact that he already had a new organization to run. No one could excuse it by not knowing—it had practically been in the papers that he had taken over for Sonny.

Most of his visitors, i.e. Spinelli and Carly, were complaining about their relationships or lack thereof, too. They didn't seem to notice that he was suffering without Elizabeth, just as they were suffering without their significant others. It wasn't that he minded listening to people and their problems. It was just that they didn't have the decency to think of how he felt.

Surprised and angered by this realization, Jason realized how far he had traveled from who he used to be. Glaring across the desk at Carly, he abruptly slammed his glass down and shot to his feet.

"Look, Carly, I'm sorry that Jax is leaving you," Jason snarled in a rage, "but at least you _have_ a relationship to save."

"But Jason, he doesn't even seem to ca—"

"Shut up!" he roared, feeling the scotch start to affect him. "Just shut up! I don't want to hear about it!"

Ignoring her stunned expression, he stormed to the door and slammed it shut behind him, relieved to escape from his prison for the time being. He decided he needed a ride…immediately. The wind would clear his head.

* * *

On her way back to the elevator, Maxie spied Epiphany hard at work at the desk. She honestly couldn't imagine the woman in a relationship with anyone, let alone Jason. Although, she thought with a smirk, she would be a great boss in the bedroom. Grinning to herself, she hopped over to the hub and stood in front of her, awaiting her attention.

Heaving a great, long-suffering sigh, Epiphany set her pen down and faced the younger woman.

"Yes, Maxie?" she said neutrally. "What is it?"

"Hey, there, Epiphany," she said innocently, laying the charm on thickly. "How you doing?"

"Very busy," she replied stiffly.

"You know, I think you work too hard," Maxie said with a smirk.

The nurse nodded. "I don't."

"Oh, come on. What do you do in your free time? Is there a special man to come home to?"

"Maxie, whatever it is you want, I suggest you save both your breath and my time," Epiphany bit out, scowling, "because I don't have any to waste on your games."

"What are you talking about? I don't play games," she pouted.

Both Epiphany and Elizabeth, who was now working next to the head nurse, gave Maxie a long look.

"Okay, fine. But I'm not playing any games right now!" she added cheerfully.

Elizabeth offered her superior a pitying smile before going back to her work. Epiphany rolled her eyes and bent back down over her chart.

"So…what do you think about Jason Morgan?" Maxie asked interestedly, leaning forward over the chart.

She lifted her head briefly. "I think he's taken."

She raised a brow. "No, he's not. He doesn't have—_ooh_. Right. So _you_ know who this woman he secretly loves is? Cause if you do, that'd really save me some time and energy if you could just tell me."

"Maxie, believe me, you don't want to get involved," Epiphany warned her with a sigh. "Those two are the most pigheaded people I know."

Maxie gazed at her in thought, watching the nurse go back to work. So the woman was stubborn, like Jason?

"Hmm. Thanks, Epiphany."

With that, she trotted away.


	5. Claudia

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

After work was over for the day, Maxie headed over to the apartment across the street, where she'd seen Claudia through the windows. It still gave her a slight chill to be in Kate's office, especially remembering how Logan had practically hurtled her across the desk. Rather than dwell, however, she pushed past the brief spook and went about her business.

Her page of lists had only two single women left and she really, _really_ didn't want to talk to one of them. She had added a few qualities, including stubborn, to her list of personality traits a woman for Jason would need.

Claudia swung the door open and raised a brow at the blonde.

"Hey, Claudia, do you—"

Maxie paused as the image of Claudia and Jason together entered her brain.

"You know what? Ew, never mind."

Leaving Claudia to wonder, Maxie rushed to the elevator.


	6. Elizabeth

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Maxie admitted it. She was delaying talking to Elizabeth. Standing at the nurses' hub had seemed like a fine and dandy time to do it, but now that she thought about it…well, what the hell was she thinking?! The kind of history she had with Elizabeth hadn't exactly led to a relationship where she'd be _welcome_ to talk to her about sex, of all things. She was pretty sure Elizabeth hated her.

Not that the Angel of Port Charles would ever admit to hating anyone….

The blonde could have trotted on over to the hospital or Elizabeth's house after leaving Claudia's, but she hadn't. She could have gone that morning before work, but she didn't. And she still could have at lunch break, but again she did not.

So, Maxie was planning to go to Elizabeth's house after work was over. The visit was sure to be filled with all kinds of hostility and plenty of glaring, but if she was ever to cross off that name on her list, she had to go through with it. Elizabeth was her last hope. Of single women, that is. She still had three taken women to go through. After that, she'd be stuck with finding a woman for him based on the list of personality traits she had gathered.

Kate actually let her out early; most likely so she could go have sex with Sonny, Maxie mused. So she headed over to Elizabeth's house, assuming she'd be either there or at the hospital. Luckily, Elizabeth's car was in the driveway and lights were on in the house.

Bracing herself for the conversation ahead, Maxie strode up to the door and gave three resounding knocks. Elizabeth opened the door soon after, Jake sitting on her hip, Cameron wrapped around her leg, and a phone pressed to her chest. The original greeting smile the nurse had had at the ready faded and she frowned in apprehension.

"Hey, Elizabeth," Maxie said, forcing her voice to sound delighted. "Can we talk?"

Her brow furrowed. "Sure. Come in."

"Thanks."

The blonde trotted past the mother of two and plopped onto the couch, looking around at the homely room. Elizabeth had made quite a warm home for her and her children, she found herself thinking as the mother walked past, phone to her ear again. Cameron bounced away from his mom and stood at the end of the couch, peering over the arm at Maxie suspiciously.

"Just a second, Maxie," Elizabeth said quickly, lifting the phone once more. "Sorry, Grams, I'm back."

Maxie turned to Cameron, who ducked down behind the couch again as soon as she looked at him. Chuckling, she made her way over to the arm and peered over it.

"Where could Cameron possibly be?" she wondered aloud, looking down at his giggling form. "I just don't know where he went."

The little boy giggled again and Maxie popped around the corner.

"There he is!" she exclaimed, laughing as Cameron squealed in surprise and ran away, up the stairs.

Maxie shook her head, leaning back on the couch as she listened to Elizabeth chatting with her grandmother. Kids were cute, but they were something she didn't really know what to do with, so she'd given it her best shot. Cameron seemed to react pretty well, so she assumed she was correct in playing peek-a-boo with him.

"Grams!" Elizabeth was saying, a flash of annoyance passing over her features, even as she settled Jake into his playpen carefully. "No. No, it's not happening. _Why_? Can you seriously ask me that after everything he did? Don't give me that forgiveness junk. I _have_ forgiven him. I'm just not in love with him anymore. Besides, the trust just isn't there anymore."

The blonde caught a glimpse of Elizabeth's face and was surprised to find a mischievous glint in her eye, a smirk quirking her lips up. Elizabeth had a mischievous side?

"Grams, if you are so hung up on him, why don't you just go marry him?" she blurted suddenly, feigning exasperation while a grin hung on her face yet. "I was kidding. Yes, a joke. Like, 'ha ha funny'? No, it's not about him. It's about the fact that I can't trust or love Lucky anymore. That's all."

Maxie leaned in, interested now that the possibility of another man had entered the conversation.

"Yes, we've been friends for years, you know that," Elizabeth continued answering, face suddenly draining of all that playful flair. "I'm not just going to stop being his friend. I'm well aware of his occupation, which is why he doesn't see me or my children any longer. Grams, would you let that go? That was nine years ago, and we weren't actually sleeping together. No, he did not threaten me, okay? He would never do that to me. Because we're…uh, friends?"

Surprised at how sarcastic Elizabeth could be, Maxie stared up at her, thinking. Seeing her like this, she seemed like a perfectly normal woman, trying to live out her life and survive. It was more like others had shoved her up on a pedestal, rather than building it for herself. She couldn't believe she was actually thinking all this.

"But he doesn't even see me anymore!" Elizabeth exclaimed, startling Maxie. "So it's all a moot point anyway. No, I didn't ask him to stop seeing me. He decided on his own." She frowned deeply and Maxie gazed at her curiously. "Well, I don't know about that." Her eyes widened. "Oh, Grams, too much, too much! Hanging up! I've got company, okay? So I love you and goodbye."

Elizabeth hung up abruptly and shook her head, sighing. Maxie watched as the tension shook out of her shoulders and she turned around, plastering a poised, blank stare on her face as she stepped over to Jake, peering in at him.

"Cameron!" she called.

"Yeah, Mommy?" the boy answered, surprising Maxie with his proximity.

"Oh, there you are," his mother said with a glowing smile.

He grinned up at her and Elizabeth chuckled before sitting down on the other side of the couch.

"Okay, Maxie, if you came here to yell at me," she said flatly, "please tell me now so I can send my children upstairs."

Maxie furrowed her brow. "Why would I be here to yell at you?"

"Wild guess." Elizabeth sighed again. "So what are you here for?"

"Well, I was hoping to talk to you about something," she said in her usual rapid-fire way. "You probably know I've been asking the women at the hospital what they think about Jason Morgan. And I was wond—"

"I don't…" she cut in, looking away solemnly, "I don't see him anymore. So…."

"Why not? Oh, are you another person he just randomly cut out of his life because of the danger factor?" Maxie asked, rolling her eyes. "He's so pathetic about that."

Elizabeth arched a brow at her. "He's trying to protect the people he loves. He doesn't want them getting hurt."

"Then don't you think the best way to keep them from getting hurt is to keep them as close as possible so he can protect them?" she shot back reasonably.

This gave the nurse a pause and she sighed, looking over at Jake quietly for a moment. Maxie glanced between the mother and her baby, confused.

"There are no guarantees, Maxie," Elizabeth said at last, voice thick with sorrow. "You saw what happened to Michael."

"What happened to Michael was because Sonny is a dumbass," she retorted sharply. "Spinelli told me he didn't have any guards with him that night. Do you think Jason would ever do anything that stupid? I mean, granted, the man is one solid block of muscle, but he's a little more conscientious than Sonny."

"Even with guards, it's possible it still would have happened," she disagreed hesitantly.

"You know what else was possible?" Maxie rejoined. "A malfunction in coffee-moving equipment. The thing goes berserk and runs over Michael. You know what else? A tornado wipes out the whole building and Michael gets hurt. You know what—"

Elizabeth held up her hand to deflect any more scenarios. "Okay, I get your point," she said, shaking her head.

They sat there in silence for a moment as Maxie considered all that she'd overheard and the conversation she'd just had with the nurse. There was something to connect there, but it felt like a puzzle. She had some pieces but the rest were missing, so she couldn't see what the picture really was. Then the fact that she'd just had a civil debate with Elizabeth settled in and she stared at her in shock.

"What?" she asked, freaked out by the blonde's gaping.

"It's just…we just had a conversation," Maxie replied, flabbergasted, which rarely ever happened.

Elizabeth considered this, then nodded. "Yeah, we did."

"Bearing in mind that you hate me, I'd say that's pretty amazing," she said, regaining her sass as she recovered from the shock.

"I don't hate you," she said, furrowing her brow.

"That's what I'd thought you'd say," Maxie returned, rolling her eyes.

"Now what is _that_ supposed to mean?" Elizabeth snapped, annoyed.

There they went, settling back into their old routine.

"Just you. You could never admit to hating anyone," she said irritably. "It would damage your reputation as the good, saintly mother of Port Charles."

"Look, I don't know where you people get that I'm a saint or an angel or whatever you think I am, but I'm certainly not any of those things. I hate, I have bad thoughts, I've done some bad things, I love when I shouldn't, okay? So stop calling me a saint and placing me up on a pedestal, because I am _nobody's_ little angel."

Maxie was surprised by the intensity of the stare Elizabeth was giving her, but what stunned her even more was the wild flash she saw go into the woman's eyes, then disappear quickly when she looked at her son, who was showing her a motorcycle toy he had.

"And I honestly don't hate you, Maxie," Elizabeth continued as Cameron trotted away. "I can forgive you for sleeping with Lucky and feeding him pills, because I think he's forgiven you, too. I have never done anything to you, that I know of, so I don't know why you targeted me. Just don't do anything more to hurt Lucky, that's all I really want."

"Well, I don't want anything to do with Lucky anymore, so there are no problems there," the blonde replied at length.

She felt as though she understood Elizabeth better now that she'd had this talk. It was a surprising feeling, to think that perhaps when she thought Sam or herself had been the victim of Elizabeth's games…maybe it was really Elizabeth. Or perhaps it was all of them being victimized, because they were all really trying to live their lives the best they could.

Maxie blinked, realizing she had just switched from Sam's side to Elizabeth's. She looked over at Elizabeth in a new light. It was like when she had started liking Spinelli—awkward and weird, but at the same time good.

"I'm glad we talked," she blurted, not thinking to stop herself.

"Me, too."

Elizabeth gave her an almost pleasant smile and Maxie stood, shouldering her purse.

"Bye."

"Bye."

It wasn't until she was out the door that Maxie realized she hadn't actually talked to her about Jason.

* * *

Jason sat behind his desk, pouring himself glass after glass of scotch. Carly hadn't called and he wasn't surprised or upset about it. If he'd had to listen to one more second of her whining….

Instead of moping around the penthouse where Spinelli could attack him with his frantic ramblings and begging him to teach him how to be manly, he'd secluded himself in his office. He'd even locked the door, which turned out to be a good thing since Sonny, Spinelli, Claudia, and Sam had all come knocking. He wasn't about to sit there while Sonny yelled at him again and he _never_ wanted to see Claudia or Sam.

His screening process was, of course, to wait until they called out, "Jason, it's…." Whoever that happened to be, he would either answer or he'd remain silent and hoped they went away. A small part of him hoped that Elizabeth would come, but he knew it wouldn't happen, so he kept it to that small part instead of letting his entire being set itself on her coming.

_And whose fault is it that she won't come?_ a snide part of him snapped.

Jason promptly told it to shut up and took another drink. Life truly and completely sucked.


	7. Carly & Lainey

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Maxie hadn't crossed Elizabeth off her list of women, but she decided it was time to move on to the taken women. She could put off talking to Elizabeth again for a few days until she had herself fully prepared for the conversation. She needed to be, since the woman was apparently some kind of conversational wizard—she'd gotten Maxie off her focus and that _never_ happened.

Besides, Maxie found herself warming up to the idea of giving Jason lessons in the ways of women. It would take some convincing, but she was fairly certain she could do it. If she could figure out who this 'Fair Ma' was, that would make things that much easier. Blackmail was always a nice tool.

She couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to her to drag it out of Spinelli, but she'd been so busy with her list and her job at _Crimson_ that she supposed something was bound to slip. But she could also put that off until later.

At the moment, Maxie was striding down the halls of General Hospital, hunting for Lainey Winters. It wasn't likely that a psychologist would have sex with a killer, but it was worth a shot. And anyway, Robin slept with Jason a long time ago and she was a doctor. That was even less likely.

If she was honest with herself, she realized that Lainey didn't fit the criteria she'd made, nor did Diane. And Carly definitely didn't. She was not normal or calm in the least. In fact, the only person who _did_ seem to fit the criteria was Elizabeth. Which Maxie found very surprising.

She didn't have much time to think it over, though, since Kate had had her working like a slave all day long. With Lulu being absent, she had twice the workload, even with Clarice helping.

As Maxie was turning the corner to find Lainey's office, she found the next two women on her list exiting at the same time. Carly seemed quite upset: red eyes, moist cheeks, and all. Lainey nodded understandingly at intervals and patted her arm. This did nothing to deter Maxie.

"I just think it would help, you know? To show him that I really want to work on things," Carly was saying sorrowfully.

"Definitely. So, just call me when you find out what he says, and—"

"Sorry to interrupt." Though she was decidedly not. "But can I talk to you?"

Lainey and Carly exchanged annoyed glances.

"Which one of us?" the doctor inquired with a pinched smile.

"Actually, both of you," Maxie clarified, sighing. "See, I was wondering if either of you would be interested in Jason Morgan."

She'd nearly just said having sex with him, but she'd managed to curb the impulse. Lainey looked as scandalized as if she had said it, though, while Carly merely looked amused.

"I'm trying to fix my marriage with Jax," she scoffed, shaking her head. "I don't think dating my best friend is the best way to do that."

"Okay, fine, what about you?" she retorted, dismissing her.

"No," Lainey exclaimed, a little too overzealous.

With a sharp glance from Carly, she amended her answer.

"Look, it's not that he's not attractive," she said sheepishly, "but the man is a professional killer. Who wants to be in danger every second you're with someone? And who could live with someone who _kills_ for a living? It's just wrong!"

Both Carly and Maxie stared at her, long and hard. The psychologist cleared her throat.

"I mean, obviously, _you_ could, because yo-you married Sonny and I believe, um, slept with Jason," Lainey managed, wetting her lips in a panic. "A-and so could Robin, now that I think about it. But…_I_ am not the type. I-I don't live on the extremely wild side."

With that, she ducked into her office and shut the door behind her. Maxie rolled her eyes while Carly shook her head, before they turned in different directions and went their separate ways.

Next stop: Diane Miller.

* * *

Jason walked into his penthouse slightly tipsy, but he wasn't drunk enough to forget which key was his. He groaned as he shut the door behind him, flicking off the light as he rubbed his forehead. Karpov was becoming even more of a problem than Zacchara, who seemed subdued since his children were in deep danger.

He heard something pounding above him and realized that Spinelli was hurrying down the stairs. Great. More begging.

"Stone Cold, you are quite—" the boy was cut off.

_That happens sometimes when you fall down the stairs_, Jason mused. He realized that the computer nerd had been knocked unconscious by the fall only when he didn't respond to the usual groan he gave. He picked him up and shoved him onto the couch before calling the hospital. How many times a month was this going to happen?


	8. Diane, & Spinelli Spills the Beans

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Diane Miller wasn't happy to see the blonde paradigm of trouble standing at her door when she answered the rapid knocking. From the looks of it, she was in the middle of a huge caseload, her desk littered with papers and manila folders. Maxie strutted on in without invitation—the woman needed a break anyway.

With a roll of her eyes, Diane shut the door behind her and returned to the leather seat behind her desk.

"Come on in," she muttered sarcastically.

Maxie plopped down in the chair across from her as the lawyer took a seat.

"What can I do for you, Ms. Jones?" Diane asked stiffly, keeping it all professional.

Not that Maxie could blame her. Diane _was_ at work and Maxie _was_ bothering her.

"I wanted to ask you about Jason Morgan," she opened, figuring it would be easiest to keep it subtle with Diane.

She eyed her critically. "What about Mr. Morgan?" Before Maxie could open her mouth, she added, "If you're about to ask me about his criminal record or anything personal, that is completely confidential and I suggest you leave immediately."

"No! Nothing _personal_, just…like…how is he as a boss?" she said thoughtfully.

An amused twinkle entered the sharp attorney's eyes.

"Why? Are you thinking about becoming an employee of Corinthos-Morgan?" she teased.

"No, I already work for Kate," Maxie clarified, finding it hard to keep a smirk off her face. "I'm just curious about your impressions of him."

"Couldn't you ask Mr. Grasshopper about this?" she shot back, obviously tiring of her company already.

Diane's eyes went to the files on her desk and she jotted something down after a moment's thought. Maxie sighed. This was like pulling teeth. Diane was too resistant, too guarded. The other women spilled without even so much as a bribe—it just proved how trusting the fools were.

"Yes, I _could_, but I wanted to ask you," she retorted hastily. "Besides, Spinelli's incredibly biased. He worships the ground Jason walks on and wouldn't ever criticize him. Ever."

Diane heaved a sigh, leaning forward. Maxie smiled in triumph.

"All right, Mr. Morgan is…" she gestured, searching for words, "a satisfactory client. He is cooperative, for the most part, kind and understanding. If his occupation weren't such a hindrance to both his and my personal lives, he'd be almost perfect. However, without his profession, I wouldn't be receiving such a generous retainer, so I suppose I can't complain."

_Damn it_. Obviously, Diane's interest in Jason was purely professional, even if they were friends on some level. Maxie mentally reviewed her list and realized there was just the one person left: Elizabeth. She'd have to try again, and hopefully this time it would go a bit more smoothly, especially considering the uneasy truce they'd developed during her last visit.

While Diane went back to her paperwork, Maxie sat there thinking things over until her cell phone vibrated. She answered it quickly, in case it was Kate.

"Hello?"

"Maxie, it's Jason," the mobster answered.

_Shit_. How had he found out again?

"Hold on just a sec," she found herself saying.

Diane glanced up as Maxie cleared her throat.

"Thank you for your time," she said, backing out.

The lawyer gave a gracious nod and looked down once more, consumed by her work. Maxie apprehensively lifted the phone to her ear once more, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

"I'm back," she told him.

"Spinelli's in the hospital," Jason said simply. "He fell down the stairs and got a concussion. I thought you should know."

"Oh, God, thank you," Maxie stammered, stunned. "I-I…tell him I'll be right there."

"I will."

"Thanks, Jason, bye."

She hung up and stared into space for a moment. The usual fear for her friend's life flooded through her, but she soon quelled it with the comfort of what Jason had said. A concussion. Just a concussion. Nothing serious.

Hopefully.

* * *

Jason slid his cell phone back in his pocket and paced back to the window of Spinelli's room. The computer nerd was asleep, for the moment. Epiphany had given him a sedative when he wouldn't shut up about how sorry he was 'to have caused his master worry.' Jason shook his head in amusement, recalling the kid's earnest face.

"Jason," a familiar voice greeted him, tone filled with surprise.

He turned to meet Elizabeth's eyes and felt his heart rise up in his throat, fit to burst. He couldn't have spoken if he tried. She closed her mouth and approached carefully, trying too hard to be casual. He almost smiled, but couldn't bring himself to when all he wanted to do was kiss her. Instead, he glanced into Spinelli's room again, finding it a useful distraction.

"He'll be okay," Elizabeth said, following his gaze. "The sedative should wear off in a few minutes and you can probably take him home tonight. Well, assuming Dr. Drake doesn't decide to keep him for observation, to make sure there are no ill effects."

Jason managed a nod, feeling slightly guilty. He hadn't been thinking about Spinelli at all. He met Elizabeth's eyes and felt the shift in her mood as she inched closer. She broke eye contact, opening her mouth as though to speak, but shutting it with turmoil written all over her face. Knowing he was the cause of that pain was almost unbearable. He felt the urge to reach out to her, take her in his arms, keep her safe and warm.

"Jason." She said again, brokenly this time, as though it were yanked from her throat. "I miss you."

He closed his eyes briefly, trying to control the burning he felt within himself, the longing for her.

"Elizabeth, don't do this to yourself," Jason choked out, trying to sound firm and strong.

"I can't help it," she retorted, staring up at him with pure adoration in her eyes. "I can't even go anywhere in this town without thinking about you."

He watched her, unsure of what to say to that. Of course, he felt that same pain, had the same ghost of memories haunting him every time he stepped into Kelly's or took a walk in the park, or even sat on a bench on the docks.

"The other night, I went to my grams' with the boys for dinner," she began, her words coming out stuffed as she fought off tears. "And I forgot Jake's blanket, so I went to get it from the car, and…I looked up at the stars."

She paused here, wiping her eyes. Jason swallowed. He couldn't think of anything to say.

"And…I remembered that night you let me drive your motorcycle and we looked at the sky together. And I wanted you there, with me."

She choked out a sob and he automatically reached for her, to comfort her, but Elizabeth backed away quickly and wiped her eyes. He looked behind him and spied Maxie, slowing her steps as she approached, eyes flicking between them with obvious suspicion.

"Maxie," Jason said, unable to say anything more.

"Hi. Is this Spinelli's room?" she asked, gesturing toward the door.

He nodded. "He's asleep right now."

"Okay."

She slid past them, eyeing Elizabeth dubiously as the nurse composed herself and attempted to wipe away the evidence of tears.

As the door shut, Jason let out a breath and looked at his dearest Elizabeth, stepping forward. She looked up at him, completely trusting, and closed her eyes as he pressed the softest of kisses to her forehead. He reached up to stroke her cheek.

"I miss you, too," he whispered. "I love you."

"I lo—"

They both jumped as, for the second time, they were interrupted, this time by Epiphany's sharp voice.

"Nurse Webber, you are supposed to be taking vitals," she snapped, though with less of a harsh edge than usual, Jason noted. "Break time is over."

Elizabeth turned to face her superior. "Yes, Epiphany, I'll get right on it."

"Thank you." Catching Jason's worried look, Epiphany added, "And no, I didn't see a thing."

He almost cracked a smile at that. Good old Epiphany.

Elizabeth faced him once more. "I guess I have to get back to work."

He nodded. "If Spinelli wakes up, could you tell him I'll be back?" He saw the question in her eyes. "I need some coffee."

"Of course."

Jason watched her walk into the hospital room and let out a shaky breath. Maybe he would make that coffee Irish.

* * *

Maxie bent over Spinelli after leaving the odd situation outside. She could've cut the tension out there with a knife. Which, she reminded herself, was a good thing if she was going to get Elizabeth and Jason to have sex. Unless it was angry tension, but it certainly didn't feel like that to her.

She cleared her mind of Jason and Elizabeth for the time being and shook Spinelli's shoulder, trying to wake him up, almost just to assure herself that he still could.

"Spinelli!" she said, jerking his arm a bit.

He grunted, shifting. "Bu—wha? I…."

He blinked, eyes adjusting to the light as he sat up on his elbows and stared up at her.

"Maximista?" he asked, as though wondering if this were a dream.

She grinned. "Hey. Jason called me. You got _another_ concussion? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

A pink hue traveled up Spinelli's cheeks. "The Jackal was trying to get Stone Cold's attention," he explained, clearly embarrassed, "but, sadly, was hindered by traitorous shoelaces while descending the stairs. The Jackal is sorry to have caused the Fair Maximista and the Master worry."

Maxie set her purse on the edge of his bed and plopped down in the visitor's chair, smirking as she crossed her legs.

"I suppose I'll have to forgive you," she said mock-resentfully. "Just don't do it again, okay? I couldn't manage without you."

Spinelli smiled eagerly, opening his mouth just as Elizabeth strode in. She offered smiles to both Spinelli and Maxie, passing by to snatch up her clipboard and then going to his chart as she made small talk.

"And how is everyone's favorite patient doing?" she asked him kindly.

"The Jackal is well, thanks to the aid of the healers," he answered brightly.

"Good! You may still be a little drowsy from the sedative, so take it easy for a while," she warned him as she jotted something down in the clipboard. "No riling him up with fashionista tales, okay, Maxie?"

It took her a moment to realize that Elizabeth was teasing her. She smiled, bewildered.

"Cross my heart."

Elizabeth smiled over her clipboard and bent back over Spinelli's chart after checking his IV.

"Spinelli, are you really okay?" Maxie addressed her best friend, worry replacing her shock at the progress she'd made with a woman she'd once despised. "Is everyone treating you all right?"

The computer geek smiled happily. "Other than the Formidable Nurse Epiphany putting him to sleep, the Jackal has been treated beyond kindly. Especially by the Fair Maternal One, as she is always beyond kind to the Unworthy Jackal."

Elizabeth smiled sweetly at Spinelli, touched by his compliment, while the Jackal himself turned pale—Maxie could practically see his stomach dropping through the floor as he realized what he just said.

"What?!" Maxie said excitedly, springing out of her chair.

"I mean! Uh, er…not Fair _Ma_ternal One, um, eh."

He was only confirming it. It had to be her if Spinelli was using the first person in his panic. Elizabeth was the one—the mystery woman Jason was madly in love with. _Yes!_ she thought triumphantly.

* * *

Jason literally bumped into Carly as he went to return to Spinelli's room with his coffee. Luckily, he had already drunk it down enough that it didn't spill on either of them. Unluckily, there was no alcohol readily available. Carly looked as though she'd been crying, he noted, a spark of guilt traveling through him. He really shouldn't have yelled at her the other day; he should've listened.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

She grinned. "Not your fault. I wasn't looking."

"Well…I have to…." He gestured and sighed. "Bye."

Jason went to go past her, but Carly whirled and grabbed his arm.

"Wait, Jason." She paused. "I know you're mad at me, but I want to talk to you."

He nodded, indicating she should go ahead.

"I know I've been all me, me, me lately, so I thought about what you said and your situation with Elizabeth," Carly told him almost cheerfully. "And I want you to hear me out on this, okay? I think it's a good thing you don't have a relationship with her."

Jason blinked. _What?_

"Elizabeth is…a slut," she said in an almost thoughtful tone.

He felt his back starting to bunch up in reaction to her words, anger coursing through his body quite suddenly.

"Think about it: all these years, she has bounced back and forth between you and Lucky," she continued, seeming unaware of the powerful reaction she was receiving. "She has to have both of you at her beck and call, or she's not happy. She gets mad when you date, even if she's with Lucky. She gets mad when Lucky dates, even if she's with you. She'd probably have four guys if Zander weren't dead and she hadn't come to her senses about Ric."

Jason gripped his coffee cup tightly, feeling it quaking in response to his grasp. Fortunately it wasn't a Styrofoam cup.

"Having two guys is bad enough as it is. Just look at the pattern: she's with Lucky for a few years until she gets tired of him, then she comes crawling back to you. You fall for it every time. Then she 'suddenly' realizes how _dangerous_ you are and runs back to Lucky. The only way to break the cycle is for _you_ make yourself unavailable to _her_. Don't let her run back to you this time, Jason. Find someone else."

Jason was shaking so badly he was spilling the hot contents of his coffee cup onto his hand. His rage numbed him to the pain of the burning liquid. He glowered at Carly, fighting the urge to smack her, to beat her, to _strangle_ her.

"I told you _never_ to talk about Elizabeth that way again."

He was startled to realize that low voice, thick with hate and fury, was coming out of his own mouth.

Carly, finally realizing how angry she had made him, blanched and backed up a step.

"Jason, I'm only thinking of you," she whispered.

"You're only thinking of yourself. What would make _you_ happy. You've always hated Elizabeth and my relationship with her."

"That's not—"

"Stop talking, Carly," he snapped. "I don't want to hear you right now."

He turned on his heel and stalked off, ignoring her when she called after him. Fortunately for them, no one had been around when they were talking about Elizabeth, or else the secret would've been blown. He thanked God that no one was having their lunch breaks yet.

* * *

Maxie decided to refrain from badgering Elizabeth—for the time being. In the meantime, she was going to Sam's house, she decided. Now that she knew she could get Jason in bed with Elizabeth, it was time to start taunting her former friend. She grinned maliciously at the thought that the once-great con artist was going to get conned herself. If she bought it.

Maxie figured Sam was full enough of herself to do so, though, so she wasn't worried.

When she entered the waiting area, she spied a mass of anger stepping off the elevator and stomping toward Spinelli's room again. And she couldn't help herself. She stepped right into Jason's path and grinned at him.

"On your way to see a nurse?" she asked cheerfully.

"What do you want, Maxie?" Jason snarled, clearly in no mood for her.

"I don't know. But I know what _you_ want," Maxie replied, unable to stop smiling.

He blinked, then demanded, "What?"

"Oh, come on. Don't act like you don't know."

"I don't," he said, sounding both sincere and still annoyed.

"Coy. Very coy." She winked.

Jason blinked—again. "_What_?"

"Nothing, nothing." She grinned widely. "Have fun at your physical."

"I…." He stared. "What are you _talking_ about?"

It actually seemed that she had confused him so much that his anger was fading to mild irritation. She filed that information away for future reference. After all, with the way she herself seemed to irritate him so frequently, the ability to calm him down by muddying the waters could prove handy.

Maxie frowned. "You don't know?"

He shook his head. "No clue."

"Put the pieces together, Jason. Nurse…physical…." She waited, but he didn't get it. "Nakedness!"

The nearest nurses stared at her, wide-eyed, and Jason shook his head again.

"Ugh! Forget it, you'll never get it," she snapped, storming off to the nearest elevator.

Jason watched her leave and turned back about, frowning. It was time for Jake's and a tall bottle of whiskey.

* * *

Sam answered the door on the second knock and paled when she saw Maxie standing there. The blonde grinned and brushed right past her, as usual, and plopped on her couch.

"I'm glad you're actually dressed this time," she said, looking significantly at Sam's covered legs.

"Yeah, um…I wasn't expecting you to—"

"Visit after you told Jason?" She shrugged and leaned back. "I would've done the same thing if I were still in love with the guy."

"I'm not—"

"Stop it, I know you are," Maxie cut her off.

Sam hesitantly sat next to her. "So you're not…mad?"

Maxie laughed. "God, no! Why would I be?"

Mentally, she was listing off the reasons.

Sam relaxed visibly. "Oh, good."

"In fact, I wish you and Jason a lifetime of happiness," Maxie continued as though she hadn't said anything.

"Jason and I are not going to happen," Sam shot back.

"You really don't want it to?" She paused, then shrugged. "Pity."

Sam raised a brow. "Why?"

"Well, I just sort of got the feeling from him when we were talking that he might…possibly, you know, still have feelings for you."

Maxie glanced inconspicuously at her and gave a mental shout of triumph as she saw Sam looking hopeful. The bitch was going to pay.


	9. Hammered

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Maxie knocked on Elizabeth's door two nights later, practically bouncing in her eagerness. For the past two days, Kate had had her running her legs off setting things up for the magazine, so she hadn't had time to face Elizabeth about her secret love. This time, she was determined not to get off-topic. She was _going_ to get to the bottom of things.

Elizabeth opened the door a few moments later. The mother of two smiled, surprised to see her.

"Maxie!" she greeted her. "What are you doing out so late?"

"I just got off work," she replied, trying to shove aside the thought that this (getting along with Elizabeth) was the oddest thing ever. "And I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh, please, come in."

She stepped aside and Maxie strode into her humble abode, heading toward a seat on the couch as she had done before. Elizabeth came after her and clicked the TV off, sitting down a few moments later.

"I just put the boys to bed," she explained, wiping her hair away from her face. "There was this thing about chocolate on TV, so I was just watching a bit before I headed there myself." She sighed. "So…what did you want to talk about?"

"Jason," Maxie said boldly.

"I thought we already—"

"I didn't have all the information then," she said, brushing that aside. "I do now."

Elizabeth sat up a bit straighter, clearly uncomfortable. "What do you know?" she asked softly, avoiding eye contact.

"That you and Jason are in love," Maxie replied confidently.

Elizabeth forced out a laugh. "No, y-you're mistaken. Um, we were just good friends, but—"

"Don't mess with me," she interrupted resolutely. "I know it and you know it. You love Jason, he loves you. I'll bet Jake is his, too. I mean, seriously, _Lucky_?" She scoffed. "He's even less fertile than eunuchs."

Maxie watched triumphantly as Elizabeth covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

"That's not true," she protested lightly, though laughter seeped into every syllable.

"Come on. Be straight with me," Maxie said, catching her eyes. "Is Jason Jake's father?"

Elizabeth hesitated. Maxie saw the indecision in Elizabeth's face—the battle between lying and trusting Maxie with that great of a secret. She quickly jumped to mend any misconceptions Elizabeth had about her sudden need for this information.

"Look, I promise, I won't tell anyone," Maxie assured her, nodding. "Why would I tell anyone, anyway, right? What good would it do me?"

She smiled and Elizabeth sighed, still looking a bit uncertain.

"Want me to pinky-swear?" Maxie offered, raising her hand.

Elizabeth laughed and shook her head. "No, that's all right."

"So…? Is he?"

She shifted to face Maxie full-on. "Maxie, if I tell you this, I am trusting you with my son's life; probably both of my sons' lives, actually."

"Yes, I know," Maxie said soberly. "And I would never do anything to put a child in harm's way."

Elizabeth considered her and let out a breath. "Okay. Yes. He is."

Maxie grinned in celebration of her victory while Elizabeth eyed her, obviously feeling apprehensive. The blonde schooled her expression until it was once again serious so she could ask the following question without sounding like she was mocking her.

"So…why aren't you together?" she asked quietly.

Elizabeth sighed, shifting positions again as she thought about it. "For the same reasons we talked about the other day," she answered at length, frowning. "And this is mostly because of Jason, I guess. He won't risk our lives and…he walked away."

"But he loves you," she commented, dumbfounded.

She nodded. "I guess he loves us too much."

Maxie scowled, trying to think of a response to that. This was just ridiculous. Jason was afraid of the danger touching those he cared about; she knew this already. But walking away from happiness, from the woman he loved, the son he'd had with her? She couldn't believe it. She could never have done it, that was for sure.

"Why are you so curious about me and Jason all of a sudden?" Elizabeth interrupted her thoughts.

Maxie considered her. "Well, Jason is a really, really grouchy guy. Especially lately. The man is miserable 24/7, and now I know why, besides the obvious. So, of course, he takes it out on me, and Spinelli sometimes. I want to spend time around Spinelli without getting my head bit off, so I'm trying to make him…" she shrugged, "_un_-grouchy."

Elizabeth was clearly fighting off a smile. "And how do you plan to do that?" she asked curiously.

"I'm trying to get him laid," Maxie replied, so seriously that Elizabeth burst into laughter.

Unlike Sam's scoffing and snorting, Elizabeth was merely doubling over in hysterics, trying to gain back her calm exterior. Obviously, she believed Maxie, for she never once paused at seeing the perfectly composed expression on the blonde's face. Once she had recovered herself, she sat up to meet Maxie's eyes, her own dancing with amusement.

"I guess it all makes sense now," Elizabeth commented, pausing to chuckle. "Why you kept asking everyone about him—why you deigned to ask _me_ about him."

Maxie shrugged. "Now you know. Obviously, I wasn't very successful. In part because of Sam McBitch."

Elizabeth started. "I thought you and Sam were friends."

"So did I, until she stabbed me in the back," Maxie snapped, glaring into middle space. "Little tramp."

"What exactly did she do?" she inquired curiously, brow arched.

"I approached her about Jason and she told him what I was doing," she returned, scowling deeply. "Of course, she _knew_ he wasn't going to be happy about it. But she went ahead and did it anyway."

Elizabeth said nothing, merely sitting poised, though Maxie noted her lips twitched, as though irritated.

"I guess you could've guessed she would do that before she even thought about it," Maxie said thoughtfully.

Elizabeth shrugged. "Sam was never the nicest person, and after enough times being attacked by her, you come to expect a con with every move she makes."

"Tell me about it," she groused. "I knew she was two-faced, but I didn't expect it with _me_. I thought we were friends. But I guess she'll trample anyone in her way, not just her enemies."

Maxie glanced at Elizabeth, who nodded almost imperceptibly. She felt comforted by the mother of two's calm acceptance and agreement.

"I never thought I'd be complaining about _Sam_ to _you_," Maxie told her, leaning back into the cushions behind her.

"Neither did I," Elizabeth replied, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips.

After a peaceful moment where she soaked in the comfortable companionship she'd developed with Elizabeth, Maxie realized she'd gotten off-topic again.

"So…now that I know you're in love with him and all," she began cheerfully, "will you sleep with him?"

Elizabeth snorted. "Unfortunately, Maxie, that's not really an option."

She drooped. "Why not?"

"Because he insists that it's too dangerous for me to see him," she replied, looking none-too-pleased herself. "And that includes conjugal visits. I can't really disagree with him, though."

"Oh, come on, the man has bullet-proofed windows, a flame-proofed penthouse, guards 24/7, and he keeps a gun in his closet," Maxie counted off. "Not to mention, he does sweeps for explosives and wires of pretty much any kind every week. I know. I was there once. They scanned _me_."

"That's just his house, though. Look at what happened to Michael—that was in the warehouse, where security is supposed to be excellent," Elizabeth pointed out, frowning.

"Like I said before: Sonny didn't bring guards and he didn't sweep the building for anything out of place. He was practically _begging_ for something bad to happen! And Jason wouldn't do that. He takes security measures for _me_ when he thinks I might be in danger, and he doesn't even like me very much."

"I know Jason would do everything he could to keep us safe. I know that. But he doesn't seem to have faith in himself, ever since Michael was shot. He blames himself."

Maxie huffed. "What a doofus."

Elizabeth chuckled. "I've tried to tell him he didn't do anything wrong. He wasn't even _in_ the warehouse when it happened, and it's not his fault that Carly and Sonny chose that life for Michael. But he won't listen."

"Maybe you should make him listen," Maxie suggested. "Make the choice yourself. I mean, you are your own person. It's not like he can _stop_ you."

"Listen, Maxie," Elizabeth said, sighing, "I appreciate your interest in Jason's—and my—happiness, even if it is for your own reasons, but it's better just to stay out of this mess. Jason and I…we've been through a lot, and I'm sure that someday we won't be miserable, even if we still miss each other. So my advice to you is to lay low for a while until he gets a little better. I'm sure he will."

Maxie eyed her skeptically. "So you won't do anything?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I'm sorry. I can't force him to be with me when he doesn't want to."

Maxie huffed, shaking her head. This was even more complicated than she'd thought. She glanced at Elizabeth's sad face and scowled. Jason had gotten Elizabeth so twisted up with fear she wouldn't even _try_ to make herself happy. Well, that just wouldn't do.

She faced Elizabeth again. "Well, I'd better get going. Thanks for the chat."

She smiled. "Any time."

They stood together and Elizabeth walked her to the door. Maxie waved as she headed down the driveway, then paused at the end to make sure Elizabeth shut the door. Then she turned on her heel and walked in the opposite direction. It was time to take a more active approach to Jason's love life.

* * *

Maxie had the whole speech planned out. She was going to fling the door open and tell Jason he was a moron for not taking what happiness life was offering him. And then she was going to blackmail him, when that didn't work. The man obviously didn't know squat about women, she'd decided. So she was going to Plan B: teach Jason about women. And hopefully, after that, he would go to Elizabeth on his own.

She got through the first part of her plan, then it was all shot down.

"Jason, I have to talk to you and you are gonna—"

"Elizabeth?"

Jason was on the couch, his upper half splayed across the arm of the chair. Empty bottles of tequila sat on the floor, coffee table, and next to the lamp. She quickly came to the conclusion that Jason was wasted.

"No," she said slowly. "I'm Maxie."

"Oh."

Jason tried five times before he was able to swing himself up and off the couch, and then he nearly fell onto the coffee table. He used it to brace himself, knocking over several of the bottles. Maxie winced, unsure of what to do with this. Her plan was certainly out the window.

"I thought it was Elizabeth," he whimpered, wiping his eyes as he came closer. "I miss her."

"Um…."

He'd made it as far as the desk without falling completely over. He was looking down at her sadly, eyes incredibly red.

"C-cause sh-she's so pretty," Jason said, wiping his eyes. "An-and I love her. And her hair. She has such pretty hair."

"Um…yeah, she—I guess she does," Maxie replied uncertainly.

And then Jason started sobbing. If she'd been startled and confused before, she didn't know what she was now.

"I miss her," he cried, leaning his hands on the desk.

It was when he started to crawl onto the desk that Maxie seriously started worrying about his alcohol intake. _His liver must be just…dead_, she thought as he curled up in a ball on the desk, weeping.

"C-cause being with her is so much better than…" he was whimpering, "…_not_ being with her."

Maxie sighed and shrugged before setting her purse down and sitting on the chair next to where he lay. She patted his back comfortingly, using her other hand to prop her head up.

* * *

Jason groaned as he lifted his head from the pillow, looking around at all the blurriness surrounding him. He blinked several times and wiped his eyes. He relaxed when he realized he was in his penthouse and went to lower his head again as the headache settled in. When his head hit wood, he rose up quickly and regretted it immediately afterward. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer and started beating on his skull.

The phone chose to ring out shrilly at this point and Jason held his forehead, groaning. He flopped back down and grunted when he realized that the pillow had fallen off when he woke up, he had spent the entire night on the desk, and that his whole body was a giant ache because of it. The phone rang again but was cut off abruptly and was replaced by a familiar voice.

"Mr. Morgan's residence, how may I help you?" the girl asked.

Jason had a bad feeling he knew who it was.

"This is Maxie Jones speaking."

_Damnit_, he thought. He hated being right.

"No, he's unavailable at this time. May I take a message?" she said cheerfully. "Okay, I will let Jason know and we'll be over to pick Spinelli up as soon as possible. Thank you!"

"Maxie," Jason said flatly, staring at the wall from his position on his back.

He heard her gasp.

"What are you doing here? And why are you answering my phone?"

He lifted his head and she hung up the phone, picking up a coffee mug from the table and walking over to him. She handed him the mug before relaxing into the chair beside the desk.

"Well, you've been asleep for like fourteen hours," Maxie explained as she crossed her legs and got comfortable. "Someone had to answer it."

Jason took a sip of coffee and lay back again, too exhausted and in too much pain to get up just yet. He rested the mug in the middle of his chest.

"But why are you here?" he repeated, staring at her.

"I came last night and you were so drunk…well, someone had to take care of you," she replied, smirking. "_You_ obviously aren't."

Jason sighed, scowling at her. Great. Not only did he feel like his body was just falling apart at the seams, but _Maxie_, of all people, was here 'taking care' of him. Who knew what she'd done while he was asleep.

"Don't you have work?" he asked suddenly, hoping she'd leave in a panic.

"Yes, but I called Kate this morning and I've been working from here," she said coolly. "Your coffee table is my desk for today."

He took another drink while she just sat there, looking as devilish as usual. Or was it a little more so? He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"You have a few messages," she informed him, walking off and returning shortly with pile of sticky notes. "Diane called—she says she has some business forms for you to sign for your contract with Mr. um…Mr. Swahi? From your sugar cane plant? Cody called and said he needs to talk business. As did Max, um…Benny, and…Dave. The hospital just called and said Spinelli can be brought home, so we need to pick him up ASAP. Carly called and said she's sorry and she wants to talk to you. Sam called and said she wanted to talk, too. There was also a wrong number and…I think that's it."

Maxie smiled as she finished, clearly happy with herself. Jason groaned and lifted himself slowly, sitting up on the desk. All his empty bottles had been cleared out and his coffee table was littered with papers, pens, notepads, and more, along with both his and Maxie's cell phone lying side by side.

"Well, thanks," Jason grumbled.

"You're welcome," she said cheerily. "Now, I need to talk business with you."

He shot her a look, brow furrowed.

"I would like to give you lessons," Maxie continued, apparently oblivious to his confusion.

"Lessons?" he echoed, frowning.

"In women," she clarified. "You know nothing about them. Other than the listening thing. You've got that down pat. But other than that, you are completely clueless, which I can help with."

Jason fought the urge to laugh. He merely scoffed and hopped off the desk, stretching his muscles as he walked.

"So that's a no?" she asked. She didn't sound too surprised.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I thought so." She grinned and stood. "Which is why I'd like to tell you that I know that Jacob Martin is actually a Morgan."

Jason stiffened, facing her.

Maxie merely smiled in the face of his glare. "That's right. So, you'll be getting women lessons or I'll tell everyone I can that Jake is your son. I'll even print it in _Crimson_ magazine, if I have to."

Jason, unaware of her new fondness for Elizabeth and her promise, glowered down at her and fought the urge to yell as he answered.

"Fine. Whatever you want," he said tersely.

She grinned like the cat who ate the canary. "Good! So, every day except weekends, at three to four in the afternoon," she said gleefully. "And we'll just do it here. Of course, I'll let you know if I need to schedule a change."

Jason ground his teeth together, forcing himself not to answer. He knew if he did, he would just scream.

"I bet you wanna know who told me," Maxie continued, eyes sparkling with contained laughter. "Well, too bad. I don't want to get anyone in trouble." She pranced past him to pick up her purse and cell phone. "Shall we go get Spinelli, then?"

* * *

The next day, at three, Maxie came charging in as expected. Jason scowled at her, hands on his hips. He stood up straight and she grinned up at him, rambling on about her day or something as she set her purse down and pulled out a thick pad of index cards and a pen. He had sent Spinelli off on a few errands in the hopes that it would keep him out of the house for the time being. He really didn't want anyone here while the little blonde was teaching him about women. He was tempted to lock the door.

"Okay, so, we're going to start out with a few simple questions before we get into the scenarios and the more in-depth things you need to know," Maxie said, brandishing her stack of index cards.

Jason folded his arms, leaning against the stand the lamp was on, and gazed at her expectantly.

"First off…um, what does it mean when a woman is lingering outside the door to her house, playing with her keys?" Maxie asked, smiling up at him.

Jason shrugged. "It means she's waiting for you to leave?"

"No! That's not what it means!" she exclaimed with startling force. "Oh, jeez, this is going to take more work than I thought."

Jason cringed.


	10. Carly's Mistake

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

"And if she says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day…?" Maxie asked, on the last of her flip cards.

They were reviewing his lessons two weeks later, right before moving on to scenarios.

"She actually does and get her something nice," Jason replied.

His annoyance had slowly worn down to simple resigned nonchalance about the lessons after he realized that irritability was getting him nowhere. He still shot her the odd glare here and there, but she assumed that was because she had blackmailed him. So she couldn't really blame him.

"Excellent!" she exclaimed, setting down the cards. "I never thought it possible." She grinned at him. "Now we can move on to scenarios."

Jason grunted. She picked up her notebook and flipped through it, scanning the pages as she chewed on the end of her pen idly.

"Well…it looks like we'll need some help for some of these, but I'm sure I can get Spinelli to—"

"Help? No. No, no. No help. This is between you and me, Maxie," Jason said firmly, stalking off toward the kitchen. "No one else needs to know."

"Oh, come on! It'd just be Spinelli!" Maxie called after him, following him as she always seemed to do when he gave signals that he needed space. "I'm sure he already knows about Jake. And really, who is he going to tell?"

Jason snatched a beer from the refrigerator and cracked it open, sighing.

"What do we need help for, anyway?" he asked grouchily.

"Hello! We need someone to play 'the other man'!" Maxie said eagerly.

He stared. "What other man?"

"Well, in your case, probably Lucky. I imagine her getting married to Lucky while she was carrying your baby and you were in love with her wasn't the best time of your life."

Jason's eyes narrowed and he took a long drink.

"I'll take that as a yes." She glanced at her watch. "Oh! I have to go to Kate's office again. She's having a meeting in a little bit. I guess Spinelli and I will see you tomorrow."

She grinned, waved, and trotted off. Jason sighed and took another drink.

* * *

Sure enough, the next day, Maxie dragged Spinelli into the penthouse at three o'clock in the afternoon. He sputtered about how it wasn't a good idea and that Jason wouldn't be happy, but Maxie ignored all that and placed him by the couch. Jason stood up and joined them, scowling deeply.

"All right, let's get this over with," he grumbled.

"Stone Cold! Y-you know about the Fair Maximista's devious plot to tutor you in the ways of—"

"Yes," he snapped. "And we're going along with it."

"B-b-but why?" Spinelli stuttered, shocked at his master's easy acceptance of the blonde's interference.

"Because I know about Jake," Maxie cut in, shoving a stack of index cards into Spinelli's hands. "Now, in this first scenario, you will play the 'other guy,' Spinelli. Jason will play…well, Jason. And I will play Elizabeth, his lady love." She giggled delightedly. "It'll be a piece of cake. Just read off your cards."

"Th-the master does not receive cue cards for Maximista's creation?" Spinelli asked, confused.

"No. The point is to get Jason to react appropriately to each scenario. If he's reading off dialogue, he won't learn _anything_," she explained.

Jason sighed, folding his arms as he waited for them to start.

"Okay, now, you're first, Spinelli." Maxie gestured to his cards. "Chop, chop."

Spinelli stuttered for a moment before looking over his card and clearing his throat several times.

"Uh…um…'I am so glad you have invited me,' Fair—uh, that is, 'Elizabeth,'" he managed, glancing at Jason uncomfortably.

Maxie smiled. "'And I'm _so_ glad you came. Have you met Jason?'"

Jason grunted and rubbed his forehead.

"'N-no. I haven't. It's nice to meet you, St'—sorry. 'Jason.'"

Maxie looked at Jason expectantly and he cleared his throat, standing up straight.

"It's nice to meet you, too," he mumbled irritably.

"'How—?'"

"Hold on, Spinelli." Maxie leveled a stern look at Jason. "You're not acting. Come on, you've never met this guy, he's just a 'friend' of Elizabeth's, all right? You have to act like you've never met him. And, also, like you're happy to be there."

"Be where?" Jason asked, furrowing his brow.

"I don't know. At Elizabeth's party."

"Elizabeth doesn't have parties."

"Well…maybe she's attending one and she invited you and this guy to join, too."

"Elizabeth wouldn't invite someone to a party that wasn't hers."

Maxie groaned. "Just act like you're happy, okay?"

"But I'm not happy," he protested, frown deepening.

"Ugh. Could you just like…_pretend_? Just…pretend I actually _am_ Elizabeth, okay? Like you thought when you were drunk!"

"Pretend _you're_ Elizabeth?"

"Yes! Is that so hard?"

"Yes."

Maxie folded her arms. "You're not being very cooperative, here."

Jason shrugged. "I don't know how to pretend you're Elizabeth."

She sighed. "All right, close your eyes."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

Jason grunted and reluctantly closed his eyes, feeling very tempted to peek through and see what she was about to do. He could hear Spinelli fidgeting with his cards and rocking on his heels uncomfortably. He heard Maxie step a little closer and felt the strong urge to lean away.

"All right. Keep them closed. Now…imagine Elizabeth is standing right in front of you," she said softly.

"I-I can't—"

"Hasn't she been in this penthouse before?" she asked impatiently.

"…Yeah."

"Then just remember a time when she was here with you. Like…your favorite time or something, all right? And just hold the image of her in your head, okay?" she instructed, waiting a long moment. "Got it?"

Jason cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"Okay…now. Try your 'it's nice to meet you, too' again," Maxie ordered, still softly.

He sighed and held the image of a smiling Elizabeth in his head. "It's nice to meet you, too," he said again, this time much lighter.

"Good! Now just keep doing that. Go ahead, Spinelli."

"'H-how do you know Elizabeth?'" Spinelli read off, clearing his throat several times.

Jason glanced at Maxie, who gestured for him to go ahead. "We're good friends."

"Okay, that was fine, but you should act interested in Elizabeth's other friends. Ask him the same question," Maxie instructed.

"Okay…uh, what about you?" he asked at length, trying to put as much interest in his voice as possible.

Spinelli scanned the lines and conferred with Maxie for a moment before reading, "'I met her at Kelly's a couple weeks ago and we've gone on a couple dates.'"

Jason stiffened as he recalled the first time he'd seen Ric and Elizabeth out on a date together. Or, worse yet, when he watched Elizabeth walk down the aisle to Lucky Spencer. His fists clenched unconsciously, but he coached himself to calm down, face going cold as he looked at the floor.

"Oh. That-that's great," he commented hollowly, after recalling that he was supposed to make a reply.

Spinelli glanced between Maxie and Jason, waiting a moment as Maxie stared at Jason, open-mouthed.

"How you _ever_ got that woman into bed, I'll never know," Maxie said at length.

Jason stared at her, confused. "What? What do you mean?"

"Come on, Jason! Aren't you _mad_ to hear the woman you love is dating someone else?" she questioned fervently, moving closer. "Don't you just want to throw something? Show some _emotion_, for God's sake! It's no wonder Elizabeth thinks you don't want to be with her! Good Lord…."

"What? Elizabeth thinks I don't—"

"Never mind that right now," she said dismissively, waving her hands. "What you need to do is say something that lets this guy know you're not happy about it. Don't just say 'oh, that's great.' She'll think you _mean_ it!"

"But I…do mean it."

"You really think it's great that Elizabeth is dating someone else?" Maxie asked skeptically, folding her arms.

"Yeah…sh-she'll be happier that way," he replied, shrugging.

"…Are you insane?"

"What?"

"Are. You. In. Sane?" she repeated, gaping at him. "This woman is practically _begging_ for you to throw her a bone here and all you can do is say how much happier she'll be _without_ you?"

Spinelli continued watching them helplessly, not sure what he could possibly do.

"I thought…in this scenario, she likes this guy and—"

"Don't just assume that." Maxie shook her head. "There could be a million reasons. Maybe she's lonely. Maybe she's trying to hint around that you should make your move, cause she's not going to wait forever. Maybe she's trying to make you jealous. You don't know."

"Elizabeth doesn't play ga—"

"Oh, please! _All_ women play games. All _men_ play games, too. It's called the love game, Jason. We all do it, even if it's unintentional. We all want that person we care about to notice us, so even if it's subconscious, we'll do anything to get them to look our way. It's human nature."

Jason arched a brow at her.

"Don't give me that look. You can't tell me you haven't at least once gotten together with a woman just to make Elizabeth notice," she said haughtily, smirking.

He started to protest, until he remembered one October night when he and Courtney Matthews had locked lips and all he could think about was Elizabeth. He fell silent and, when he paled slightly, Maxie gave a "aha!" of triumph and grinned.

"See? Everybody does it."

Jason sighed. "Fine. What am I _supposed_ to say to this guy then?"

"Well, never, ever, ever say anything even close to what you said before," she instructed firmly. "I never want to hear those words again. Unless I tell you to say them." She paused, frowning. "Anyway, what you should say is, 'oh, really? And how are things going?' I know it doesn't _sound_ threatening or unhappy, but what's important is tone and body language. You should have both those down pat. So, go ahead, say it."

He glanced at her again, frowning, and folded his arms, trying to imagine he was addressing one Lucky Spencer. "Oh, really? How are things going with the two of you?"

"Perfect!" Maxie grinned. "Okay, Spinelli, go ahead and say your line."

Spinelli cleared his throat again. "'Pretty well, actually. She's a great girl.'"

"Yes, she is," Jason replied quickly, retaining his glower and unhappy air.

"Excellent timing on that one," Maxie said lowly before speaking her lines louder. "'Everything okay over here?'"

Jason looked expectantly at Spinelli, but he didn't say anything, so he looked over at their instructor again.

She sighed. "You have to answer first. It's your first chance to let Elizabeth know you're not happy about it. So try something that shows your disdain, okay? But don't direct the disdain toward her. Direct it toward the guy."

He frowned, shifting. "Um…all right. Uh…yeah, it's fine. Your _boyfriend_ was just telling me how things are going with you two."

"Ooh, excellent emphasis on the boyfriend part," she commented, smiling. "I guess an old dog _can_ learn new tricks."

Jason rolled his eyes and shook his head. At least she wasn't talking to women about his sex life anymore.

* * *

After about a half hour more of this, most of it spent on a lecture about telling the woman you love how you feel, Maxie finally released Spinelli from his duties as helper for the day and started packing up to leave. Spinelli, the poor guy, bolted up the stairs as fast as he could, apparently terrified after a whole hour of being glared at by Jason.

"I think we should do more to get you in tune with the feminine mentality. Maybe some yoga or something. We could do that for like the second half hour every day and the first half hour can be scenarios with Spinelli," Maxie was saying excitedly. "Plus, it'll keep you nice and flexible for your workouts."

Jason groaned. "Whatever you say."

She grinned. "Good. Now, I'm off to get a manicure. See you tomorrow!"

* * *

Carly walked through the practically deserted coffeehouse and went straight for Jason's office door, hoping to catch him inside so she could apologize for her behavior. Sure, she didn't like Elizabeth, but she _had_ gone a little far. The only way she could really excuse it was that she was projecting her bad mood about her own love life on to him.

Fortunately, though, weekly counseling sessions with Lainey were helping to heal her marriage. Jax had even agreed to go on a date soon. Lainey had suggested that they keep their deeper issues tabled during their dates. Wipe the slate clean, as it were, and save the discussion for their sessions.

Max nodded her through and she walked up to the door. Normally, she would just barge right through, but with him mad at her, the best decision was to knock first. She raised her fist to do so, but froze in mid-motion when she heard Jason grunt.

"That's good," she heard a muffled, female voice say. "Now, let's try this position."

Carly's mouth opened wide as she heard the two of them shuffling as they moved about. Suddenly, she recognized the voice of the woman: Maxie Jones. _Oh, my _God_!!!_ she thought, horrified. Jason and _Maxie_?! It just wasn't possible! It wasn't….

"Damn, it's hot—"

Carly leapt away from the door before Maxie could speak another word and bolted out the door. Before she knew what she was doing, Carly found herself exiting the elevator at General Hospital and holding her stomach. Apparently, her body knew it was going to be sick soon. She stalked toward the nurse's hub in search of a bucket, then stopped, groaning as she held her head. She really had to get that image out of her head. Immediately.

"Um…Carly, are you okay?" she heard a voice ask distantly.

She looked up slowly and found the confused and concerned face of Ms. Elizabeth Webber looking down at her. A surge of pity sent Carly forward and latching onto the nurse, holding her in a tight embrace in which Elizabeth went stiff and wide-eyed, not moving a centimeter.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Elizabeth," Carly sobbed. "Really."

"Umm…sorry for?" Elizabeth squeaked, completely bewildered now.

Carly slowly released Elizabeth and sighed, taking deep breaths.

"This is gonna be hard to hear, okay? And I'm sorry to be the one to tell you," she said slowly, gazing at her forlornly.

"Um…okay?" Elizabeth asked apprehensively, leaning a little away from the other woman.

"Jason…Jason is sleeping with Maxie," Carly choked out, waiting for Elizabeth's shock to appear and the tears to come pouring out.

Elizabeth stared at her for a long, tense moment. Her expression never shifted once in this lengthy period of time. She merely gazed at Carly, frozen in place. Then, slowly, the corners of her mouth lifted up. And then she started laughing—hysterically. Carly watched her, now feeling a little confused herself, as Elizabeth wiped her eyes of the laughter-wrought tears.

"Good one," the nurse managed after several minutes.

When she started to walk away, Carly snatched her arm.

"No, I'm serious, Elizabeth!" she insisted.

She attempted to keep a somber expression, but instead melted into laughter—again.

"I'm _serious_! I heard them!" Carly exclaimed as Elizabeth nearly hunched over.

Elizabeth bit her lower lip. "Oh, so you heard Jason and Ma—" she snorted, apparently unable to get through that sentence.

Carly folded her arms as Elizabeth held her forehead, trying to stop the wave of laughter.

"It's not funny," she said firmly.

"No, of course no—" and she descended into laughter again.

"Why don't you believe me?!" Carly exclaimed, frustrated.

Elizabeth bit her lip again and sighed, trying to stop long enough to answer. "Because…it's just so…ridiculous! Like Jason would sleep with Maxie." She laughed again. "I mean, you know as well as I do he would never do that."

"Fine, just don't believe me." Carly huffed.

"I'm sorry, Carly. It's just…a little hard to believe." Elizabeth swallowed. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, you were right about Lucky sleeping with Maxie way back when."

"All right, that's it," she said determinedly. "I will _prove_ to you that they are sleeping together." She grabbed Elizabeth's arm and started pulling her toward the elevator. "Come on, you're taking your lunch break."

Elizabeth allowed Carly to pull her along. She could only give the other woman an amused look when she muttered, "I know you won't believe it, but I really am sorry to have to show you this!"

* * *

"So, what are you going to do? Storm in on them having sex?" Elizabeth asked as they reentered the coffeehouse minutes later.

"No. We are going to wait out here and you will see Maxie coming out with him," Carly said, gesturing to a table for them to sit at.

Elizabeth shrugged her coat off and sat down, crossing her legs. "All right. Whatever you say. Hey, Max."

"Ms. Webber, good to see you," Max replied delightedly.

"You, too." She smiled, then turned back to Carly. "You want to get some coffee while we're waiting? If they _are_ having sex, this could take a while."

"It'll probably just take a few minutes, but sure," she replied, waving to the barista.

"With Jason?" Elizabeth scoffed, then shrugged. "If you say so."

"Yeah, I'll have a decaf and she'll have—"

"Hot chocolate."

The barista went to work behind the counter and Carly sat back in her chair again, drumming her fingers on the tabletop. Elizabeth sighed, tapping her foot.

"Wait a second—what do you mean 'with Jason'?" Carly asked suddenly.

"Well, I just mean…you know, the man has stamina. It takes a while to get done," Elizabeth replied, shrugging.

"It never did with—" Carly scowled and turned away. "Never mind."

Elizabeth chuckled and accepted her hot chocolate when the barista came to serve it. They sat in silence for a few minutes more, sipping at their hot drinks. Carly sighed and Elizabeth bobbed her head, glancing idly at her watch.

"It's really nice out today," Elizabeth commented, glancing out the window.

"It really is. The weather has just been gorgeous lately," Carly replied, turning to look with her.

"I know. I hope we don't lose this good streak. I'm hoping to take the boys for a picnic next week."

"Oh, that'll be fun. Which park do you go to?"

"The one by Kelly's."

"Oh, yeah, that one is really nice. Morgan and I usually don't go there because of the crowds, though."

"It's not too bad if you go during the weekdays. And with it being the biggest park, you're less likely to bump into people. Oh! And there's this one secluded little spot by the fountain. If you go there and then find this little path off to the left of it, there's a little spot back there that's great for the kids to play."

"Oh, cool. I'll have to keep that in mind."

"Yeah—"

"Oh, here they come! Shh!"

Elizabeth chuckled and turned to face the entrance to Jason's office with Carly. Sure enough, a sweaty looking Maxie came through and turned briefly back toward Jason.

"So, tomorrow at your place again?" she asked him.

He nodded, expression neutral. "Yeah."

"At three?"

"Mhm."

"Cool. I'll see you then."

Maxie grinned and turned away, heading out the door without noticing either of the two women sitting there. Jason watched her leave and widened his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. Elizabeth nearly laughed at the annoyance written all over his face.

"See?!" Carly stage-whispered to her. "They set up another meeting _and_ they were all sweaty!"

"And?" Elizabeth asked, smirking. "He looks as happy about that as a dog going to the vet's."

"That's just a front!" Carly insisted.

"Elizabeth? Carly?" Jason said suddenly.

Neither woman had noticed him walking up to the counter for a coffee, and apparently he hadn't noticed them until Carly's rather loud argument. He looked between the two women, looking utterly confused as to why the enemies were having coffee—_together_—at his coffeehouse.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked, glancing between them again.

"Oh, just having a coffee break," Elizabeth replied when Carly only stared. "Thanks for paying, by the way. I'll have to pay you back sometime."

She stood and pulled on her spring coat, smiling brightly at both of them. Carly's 'joke' had certainly brightened up her day—she didn't even feel too miserable looking at Jason.

"In the meantime, I have to get back to work," she announced, heading for the door. "Oh, and Carly?"

Carly turned in her seat. "Hm?"

"That doesn't prove anything," she said, then grinned and backed out the door.

Carly scowled and shook her head, turning back to her coffee to take another sip. Jason stared at the door for a long moment before clearing his throat and going back to his office, utterly dumbfounded. Carly stood and took another drink before heading for the door, but Max intercepted her.

"Um…Mrs. C., I just thought you ought to know that…they were sweaty because the air conditioning is broken," he explained hesitantly.

Carly took a moment to absorb that. "Don't tell Elizabeth that."

She really hated being wrong.


	11. Lizzie and the Flying Hand Gestures

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Over the next few days, Maxie, Spinelli, and Jason continued their routine uneventfully. Carly still thought they were having sex, but she never brought it up to Jason. When she saw Elizabeth, the two would have a brief spat about it, although for some reason there were no hard feelings with this fight. The more Carly brought the subject up, the more restless Elizabeth became.

Rather than sinking into hollow depression, as she had before, she was absent and fidgety at work, and at home the phone became her best friend as she considered whether or not to call Jason. She wanted to see him badly, and found herself going to the coffeehouse more and more often, usually under the guise of needing herbal tea. Jason didn't speak to her when he saw her there, but either closed himself up in the office or left as soon as possible. She knew it wasn't due to embarrassment or anger—just out of cowardice. Okay, so Jason was one of the bravest men she knew, but when it came to emotions, he may as well be wearing a pink bunny suit.

After her shift one afternoon, she found herself with a hankering for herbal tea, so she wandered over to the coffeehouse. Cameron and Jake would still be in daycare, and Lucky was taking them for a while anyway. While she was flipping through her magazine, waiting for her tea, Maxie came trotting out of the back room. This was the first time Elizabeth had seen her since Carly dragged her there, so Elizabeth waved and offered a brief greeting.

"Elizabeth! I didn't think I'd find _you_ within a hundred yards of the coffeehouse," Maxie teased, coming over to her table.

Elizabeth put down the magazine and shrugged. "Well, they have a great selection of herbal teas."

"Not to mention a nice eye-candy section, right?" Maxie winked.

"I wouldn't know these days. Whenever I show up, the candy goes into hiding," she replied, a little morosely.

"Good to know. I'll have to take note of that for our next lesson. You let me know if he scurries off again—I'll kick his butt into shape," Maxie said sternly, looking deeply displeased.

"Your 'lesson'?" Elizabeth asked, puzzled.

"Yeah. So, how are you holding up? Are you getting less miserable, like you promised me?" Maxie said evasively, sitting down across from her.

Elizabeth chuckled. "I don't know about less miserable. More longing, I guess. It doesn't help that every time I see Carly, she brings him up. She thinks you two are sleeping together, by the way."

Maxie snorted. "Me and Jason? No way. I'm not _that_ desperate to cheer the dope up."

"I basically told her it would never happen." Elizabeth smirked. "But she doesn't believe me."

"That's Carly for you," Maxie commented, shaking her head. "So…longing, hm? Are we thinking about actually doing anything about it this time?"

"You know I can't. Besides, even if I tried, Jason doesn't want us. He's too afraid," she explained, sighing. "No matter how much he loves me and the boys, it'll always be too dangerous."

"And why is it always his decision?" Maxie asked pointedly, looking a little put out.

"Because…he's the one who's always saying it's too dangerous. Besides, I don't want to push him into anything he doesn't want or that he's not ready for. I just want him—"

"To be happy?" Maxie shot her a look of pure disgust. "You two…you make me sick."

Elizabeth frowned, confused. "What? Why?"

"You are so damn selfless it's revolting," she said flatly, scowling. "Don't you ever think about yourself? I _know_ Jason doesn't."

"Yeah, I think about myself," Elizabeth said, a little defensively. "I know what I want; it's just that I don't want to force what I want onto Jason. He should make his own choice."

"Did you know that that's exactly what Jason thinks…only about you?" Maxie asked irritably.

"He…he does? He said that?"

"Well, in fewer words, and in his Jason way, but basically, yeah. When we're arguing about you, the main thing he says is that he wants you to be happy and make your own choice about what you want."

"Well, that's kind of…um…."

"Counterproductive?" she offered.

"Yeah, a little bit." Elizabeth frowned thoughtfully. "Still…I-I don't think I could get him to be with me even if I came out and _told_ him what I want."

Maxie sighed. "Look, Elizabeth, do you know why I do all the psychotic things I do?"

"Um…because you…really like the attention?" she asked, puzzled.

"No! Because I am going for what _I_ want! I set myself a goal, and I do whatever it takes to reach it," Maxie replied fervently. "Sometimes it doesn't always work on the first try. And sometimes the 'obvious' approach isn't going to work. Sometimes you have to try something a little more devious, maybe even a little dirty."

Elizabeth considered her for a moment. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying sometimes you have to force what you want," Maxie said conspiratorially. "It's not always going to get handed to you on a silver platter. And with Jason? You'll have better luck with getting Spinelli to talk in the first person than with getting Jason to look past the danger just by telling him you don't care about it." She glanced at her watch. "Ooh, sorry. I gotta go, I'm gonna be late. I'll see you later."

Elizabeth waved at her absently and turned back to the Styrofoam cup in her hand, swirling the liquid around a couple times as she thought about what Maxie had said. So she should force Jason to do what she wanted? That didn't exactly seem right, but if what Maxie said was true, it was what Jason wanted, too. He just wasn't going for it. So really, she'd kind of be helping both of them out…. There was only one question left.

What would Maxie do?

* * *

Jason took a deep breath as he sat in his car, staring at the hotel intently. It had puzzled him that Karpov wanted to meet in the restaurant, rather than at a more secluded place, where their conversation would be less likely to be overheard. Then again, the Russian mobster probably preferred having witnesses around. After all, it didn't sound like this was to be a confrontational meeting.

Bracing himself one last time, Jason forced himself out of the car, hitting the lock button over his shoulder before he stuffed his keys in his pocket. Once he reached the desired floor, he marched straight over to the hostess and waited for her to look up.

"Oh! Hello, sir. How may I help you?" the dainty girl asked, smiling delightedly.

"I'm supposed to meet someone here. A Mr. Karpov," he told her, glancing around the restaurant briefly. "Is he here?"

"Oh, you must be Mr. Morgan," she replied, grinning now. "Right this way."

After snatching up a menu for him, she led him through the maze of tables toward a more secluded booth near the bar. When he saw who was sitting there, he froze. It took the hostess a few moments to realize he wasn't following her anymore, but when she did, she strode right back over to him.

"This way, sir," she said, motioning for him to follow.

"A-are you sure this is right? I'm supposed to be meeting _Mr. Karpov_," he emphasized, glancing toward the woman in the booth.

"I'm sure, sir. Please, follow me."

The hostess flashed him another grin and started dodging tables again, leading him straight to the booth. She set down his menu across from the woman sitting there and came back to where he was standing a few feet away.

"Enjoy your meal, sir. A waiter will be with you in just a few minutes."

Then she stalked off, leaving Jason to stare at the woman in his booth. Several thoughts occurred to him at that moment. One, the hostess was clearly mistaken about which table he was supposed to be at. Two, Maxie would skin him if he didn't take advantage of the hostess' mistake. Three, missing a meeting with a potential enemy was definitely a step in the wrong direction. Four, she looked ravishing in her black cocktail dress. Five, he wondered how sturdy the tables were, because he wouldn't be taking it easy if he got to do what a certain part of his body wanted him to. And six, she had done it _again_.

Reluctantly, Jason wandered over to his side of the table, seating himself slowly. He was almost afraid of her noticing him, but she seemed oblivious to the world as she perused the menu. He rubbed his forehead briefly, trying to remember what Maxie would tell him to say.

He cleared his throat. "Elizabeth. Hi."

She looked up quickly and beamed at him. "Hi. I—"

"I-I think the hostess made a mistake," he cut in, frowning apologetically. "I was supposed to meet someone—"

"She didn't make a mistake." Elizabeth smiled. "You're at the right table."

"Wait…what?" he asked, furrowing his brow. "Who called me?"

"The new janitor at General Hospital is Russian," she said nonchalantly.

"Elizabeth, you—" He stopped himself, caught between frustration, surprise, and the desire still tugging at him to grab her around the waist, lay her on the table, and do some things that the other patrons wouldn't appreciate. "I thought you understood by now. It's too dangerous for me to see you. How could you do this?"

"Well, it worked once, didn't it?" she said, shrugging. She seemed totally unfazed by the whole thing. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

"It didn't work," Jason retorted, scowling in consternation.

"You kissed me, didn't you?" she asked, grinning impishly.

He sighed, unable to keep the side of him that always seemed to pop up when she was around down. The side that couldn't help but smile and make jokes. It wasn't useful for much else but making her laugh, but that was more important than any of his other 'skills.'

"Now, look, it's not fair to throw our past back in my face," he said sternly, though he was smiling a little. "Especially since I'm not the only one who kissed someone after they were lured somewhere."

"What are you talking about? You didn't lure me back to the studio. I lured you. And I kissed you that time," she replied, looking puzzled.

"No, I'm talking about Zander," Jason said lightly, smirking at her.

Elizabeth looked on the verge of anger, until she realized he was shooting her a most mischievous look. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"You are such a brat," she said, though she was smiling a little.

"Hello, I'm Jack, I'll be your server," a teen boy in a tuxedo interrupted, setting down coasters for the two of them. "Are you two ready to order drinks yet?"

Elizabeth glanced across at Jason, but he gestured for her to go ahead.

"Ladies first," he said lowly, making her smile fade a little.

"Um…I'll just have an iced tea, thanks," she said when she turned back to Jack.

"And for you, sir?"

Jason kept his gaze locked on Elizabeth, looking over every inch of her. He let his gaze linger the longest on the bit of lace over her chest, letting her know _exactly_ what he was thinking. This was one of the only parts of Maxie's 'lessons' he actually enjoyed and agreed with wholeheartedly.

She had told him that, at some point during the meal (or several points, actually), he should look at Elizabeth like she was 'a popsicle.' It didn't make any sense until she made some very graphic comments that made Spinelli blush and run up to his room.

"I'll have the same," Jason answered presently, still keeping his eyes on Elizabeth.

She cleared her throat and smiled weakly at the waiter, folding her arms as she leaned back in the booth. Just as Maxie said she would.

* * *

The rest of the date went well, although the end was completely unsatisfying. Jason had spent the entire time undressing her with his eyes, and at the end? He kissed her hand and went back to his car. Elizabeth had _not_ been happy. It wasn't fair to work her up like that and then just _leave_.

So she decided to visit his penthouse the next day.

Elizabeth found that once 'Lizzie' was unleashed, it was rather hard to put her away. And so 'Lizzie' decided to go to his penthouse. 'Lizzie' also decided to wear a leather jacket and as sultry an outfit as possible. Just to remind Jason who he was dealing with.

She knocked twice on the door and waited there for several moments before knocking again. If he was avoiding her, she was probably going to have to kick him in the shin. But, at long last, he swung the door open and stared at her.

"Elizabeth, what are you—"

"How nice of you to invite me in. Of course I'll make myself at home."

And she abruptly pushed past him and tossed her purse on the couch. Jason turned, stared at her some more, shut the door, and then stared at her some more. She was wondering when he was going to get past that part when he stepped closer and scratched the back of his neck.

"Uh…wh-what are you doing here?" he asked anxiously, gaze flicking about the room surreptitiously.

She rolled her eyes. Yep, someone was just _waiting_ in his penthouse to leap out at them, she was sure. They were probably hiding behind the couch with a periscope and a gun. _Maxie is seriously rubbing off on me_, she thought, a little disturbed by her burst of sarcasm.

"Well, if you remember, we had a date last night but we never set up a next one," she reminded him cheerfully. "It's standard dating protocol, really. Unless you wanted to promise to call me, which you also didn't do, we should've done that."

Jason rubbed his forehead. "Elizabeth, last night was…was just great, but we can't keep seeing each other."

She folded her arms and pouted. "Why not?"

"You know why."

"Oh, right. Blah, blah, blah, danger. Blah, blah, danger, blah, blah. Danger, blah, blah." She paused to gauge his reaction—he was scowling at her. "Did I get that right? I think there's at least one more danger in there somewhere…."

"You know it's more—"

"Jason, I am sick and tired of being alone," Elizabeth snapped, losing her patience. "And since my heart will only allow me to be with you, you are just going to have to suck it up and be with me."

He stared at her for another long moment and she thought he was going to give in when someone knocked on the door. Jason huffed, irritated.

"Who is it?" he called over his shoulder.

"I-it's Sam!"

Elizabeth stiffened. What the hell was she doing here? Jason's scowl deepened and he marched to the door, flinging it open. He waved her in, but the movement was jerky, not welcoming. Sam didn't seem to notice. She came trotting right in, but halted immediately on seeing Elizabeth there. Elizabeth smiled with false brightness and watched as Jason shut the door and turned to face Sam.

"Elizabeth," Sam said, sounding surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you," she replied, keeping her voice light and cheerful.

"Well, I—"

"What is it, Sam?" Jason grumbled, folding his arms in annoyance.

Sam whipped around and took a breath. "Well, I just wanted to talk to you about something that I've been thinking about for a while." She gulped, gesturing wildly the way she always did. "You know, in private."

"I'm a little busy at the moment," he said flatly.

Elizabeth allowed herself a private smile. At least he turned down Sam for her, even if he would never dismiss business for her.

"Yes, I see. I just…it's really important and I was hoping—"

"OW!"

Sam gasped, startled, when she realized that she had smacked Elizabeth right in the eye with one of her gestures. Elizabeth held her now-stinging eye and groaned in pain, while Jason glowered at Sam and rushed to Elizabeth's side, trying to pry her hand away so he could take a look.

"Son of a _bitch_," Elizabeth snapped, glaring at Sam with her one eye.

They were both glaring at her, so Sam swallowed and let out a meek, "Sorry."


	12. Locks Are a Neat Thing

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

"Are you all right?" Jason asked, pulling Elizabeth's hand away from her eye and trying to look at it.

His fingers brushed the area and she immediately yelped out, "Ow, ow, ow!"

"Okay, it's all right. I'm sorry," he said gently, taking her arm in his. "Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Okay," she whimpered, shooting another glare at Sam.

Jason ushered Elizabeth out of the penthouse and slammed the door shut on a bewildered Sam. She waited there for a moment before deciding there was no point in sticking around. She would just have to talk to Jason about this later.

* * *

"Is the ice pack helping?" Jason asked, pausing in his pacing.

Elizabeth huffed. "For the fifth time: yes, it's helping."

He resumed pacing. "Where the hell is the doctor?"

"Jason, calm down," she said soothingly. "It's just a swollen eye, not a broken leg."

He grunted, not showing any signs of obeying her command. Elizabeth sighed and readjusted the ice pack, which had numbed the area enough to ease the desire to stab Sam in the eye with a pen and see how she liked it. She wondered briefly what Sam was doing at Jason's penthouse. Their relationship was over and neither of them had any (pleasant) lingering feelings for one another, as far as Elizabeth knew.

Something caught her eye and she saw Maxie standing at the window of the door. Elizabeth smiled and started to wave, but Maxie only winked and kept going on down the hall. Elizabeth furrowed her brow. What was that about?

Then she heard the 'Lizzie' part of her brain whispering a suggestion and realized.

"Oh," she said aloud.

Jason glanced at her. "Hm?"

Elizabeth shifted and cleared her throat. "Oh, nothing. Just…kind of hurts."

He stopped pacing immediately and strode over to where she sat on the examination table. He coaxed her hand away from her eye and started looking it over, brushing his fingers gently around the area, feeling for the swelling. Elizabeth allowed herself a smug smile as his other hand came up to cup her cheek, most likely under the guise of keeping her still.

Jason made a displeased noise. "The swelling hasn't gone down."

"Has it gotten worse?" she asked curiously, scooting forward and placing her hands on his belt, where he wouldn't notice her tracing lazy patterns with her fingers.

"No," he said, letting his hand drop.

He went to step back, but she hooked her thumbs in his belt loops, preventing his escape. Jason eyed her, obviously surprised at her boldness, but he didn't attempt to remove her hands. Elizabeth smiled sweetly and pulled one hand away to shove the ice bag off of the table. He watched it drop to the floor, looking a bit apprehensive, and started to step away when she hiked his shirt up.

"Eli—"

"Shh," she interrupted promptly.

There was no way she was letting words get in the way of what she wanted _again_.

Jason seemed to sense her determination, for he immediately ceased any backward motion, instead focusing his eyes on hers. Elizabeth smiled again and pulled him closer, massaging his back once she had him where she wanted him. She strained upward to capture his lips and, after a moment's hesitation, Jason could control himself no longer.

He bowed down and kissed her fiercely, delving his tongue into her mouth before she had a chance to ask him to. Elizabeth moaned and pulled up his shirt, letting her hands rub over his bare skin and feeling every sculpted muscle in his back. He responded by tugging her leather jacket off of her shoulders and giving her mouth a rest, instead focusing his attentions on her shoulders and neck. She arched her head back to give him better access and wrapped her thighs around him, pulling him against her.

The feel of him hard against her had Elizabeth feeling a bit impatient and she pulled his shirt up to his arms. Jason lifted his head, smirking at her, and aided her in the removal of the irritating and restricting clothing. She smoothed her hands over his chest and ducked to press grateful kisses to him in greeting. His hands tangled through her hair, caressing and stroking through its length with a gentle touch.

She heard Jason moaning lowly and brought her kisses up his chest and to his throat, enjoying the odd feeling of his vocalizations vibrating against her lips. His fingers trailed over her shoulders and wandered in between them, tugging the buttons of her shirt loose. She encouraged him with kisses to the hollow between his collarbone and neck, which she knew he particularly enjoyed. He displayed this by pushing his hips against hers, as though impatient for more.

Elizabeth smiled privately and obliged when he started pushing her jacket and shirt off. Jason tossed both articles aside and bent down to kiss her soundly, rubbing up her back to find the clasp of her bra. He pulled it loose in one swift movement and kissed her twice more before backing away. She frowned and yanked him back in protest, but he only smiled and turned away again, gently prying her loose.

She watched him impatiently as he locked the door and pulled the curtain down, then turned back to her with what she could only describe as hunger in his eyes. Jason marched back over and stole her lips again, devouring her mouth and battling with her tongue as he pulled her bra away between them. He gripped her thighs tight and lifted her, scooting her back on the table until he could climb atop her.

Jason moved between her legs, pulling the button of her jean undone and lowering his mouth to her breasts. Elizabeth arched her back automatically, gasping at the renewed sensations she'd been missing for months as he laved his tongue in tantalizing circles around her nipples. She gripped the sides of the table for something to ground her and he moved down her body as he peeled away the rest of her clothing. He tossed it aside as his mouth continued working her bare skin, meeting her entrance only moments after the clothes were gone.

Elizabeth groaned when he teased her with his tongue, his hands rubbing up and down her legs. When at last he plunged his tongue inside her, she gasped and tightened her grip on the table, hips bucking. He wrapped his arms about her legs, gripping her sides, and yanked her closer, even as he drove his tongue within her, mimicking what she hoped he would soon be doing with a different part of his body.

She found herself nearly weeping with pleasure as Jason drove her to the edge, and she came with a cry. He rubbed her sides gently and brought his hands away, moving them instead to his pants. He shucked off the remaining clothing barring his way and crawled back over her, kissing his way along her body.

Their mouths met again in a slow, deep kiss, which was abruptly interrupted when Elizabeth gasped at the feeling of his hard self delving into her. Jason smiled warmly down at her, though that predatory glint never left his eyes, and thrust himself inside with a groan. She reached for another kiss, even as he began moving within her. He bestowed it on her eagerly and she wrapped her arms around him, using his arms to grip instead of the table when the pleasure overtook her.

Jason met her hips with his as she arched her back and began moving more forcefully, pulling moan after moan from her lips, as though he wouldn't be happy until she was crying out with ecstasy. She dug her nails into him, gasping for breath as he pushed her higher and higher. He pressed a fierce kiss to her neck just as she came, crying out as the waves of pleasure crashed over her.

Moments later, he followed her into paradise and dropped against her. Elizabeth smiled blissfully and wrapped herself around him when he went to pull himself up, kissing her neck as he went. She kissed his cheek, neck, shoulder—anything she could reach, and sighed happily.

"I missed you," she whispered in his ear.

"And I missed you," she heard him murmur.

Jason kissed her shoulder, burying his face into her hair. Elizabeth heard him inhale and closed her eyes, allowing the intensity of their lovemaking to wash away to the peacefulness of the afterglow. Her eye didn't even hurt anymore, she realized with satisfaction.

"Maxie will certainly be pleased," Jason grumbled.

It was obvious he didn't intend her to hear, but Elizabeth laughed anyway and asked, "What?"

He lifted his head, kissing her once. "Maxie. She's been trying to get me to…." He cleared his throat. "Well, she'll be pleased."

She laughed again. "Is that what those 'lessons' were about?"

He looked surprised, but he nodded. "Yes. She blackmailed me with the information that Jake is my son."

Elizabeth winced. "I'm sorry about that."

His brow shot up. "_You_ told her?"

"I didn't so much tell her as…she figured it out and I confirmed it," she said evasively, squirming a little.

"I see," Jason replied, grunting. "Well…what now?"

Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "Um…I was thinking a little cuddling and then we could get right back down to it." She jerked her hips, making him groan in surprise. "We have a lot of time to make up for, you know."

"I meant…what now as far as us…the future," he clarified, a little uncomfortably.

She considered answering seriously, but she was in far too good a mood to discuss something so serious so…seriously.

"The future is a very vague thing, Jason," she said mock-sagely. "You could be talking about the next few seconds, minutes, hours—which, by the way, I've already covered—days, weeks, months, years. You could mean anything. So you're going to have to give me a specific time limit here." She grinned impishly.

"You know what I mean, Elizabeth," he said sternly, but he was smiling.

"Maxie's right—you _are_ in a better mood when you've had sex," she said teasingly. "Maybe we should do it a couple more times. You might even laugh."

Jason grinned, though he was visibly fighting it. "I won't say no to that," he said lowly, kissing her again. "But I do want to talk about—"

"You know my views," she said abruptly. "I want to be with you. I want to be a family."

He stared at her for a long, tense moment. Elizabeth waited with what would've been impatience if she hadn't been feeling so mellow at the moment. In the meantime, she proceeded to kiss his shoulder, mostly for something to distract herself with. When he kissed her cheek, she turned to face him and he kissed her soundly.

"We'll take it slow," he murmured when he pulled away.

Elizabeth smiled. "That sounds all right to me."

He smirked. "Although I may not be able to wait when it comes to marrying you."

She chuckled. "In that case, I'll have to make you wait until we have the very last box unpacked. After all, you've made me wait this long to do this. It's only fair." She grinned again.

Jason's disappointment turned to that rarely-seen mischievousness and he kissed her once more.

"I suppose I'll just have to make do for the time being."

Any reply Elizabeth might have made was cut off when Jason thrust his hips against hers.

* * *

"Jason, girl alert," a familiar bossy voice announced as the door was thrust open. "Pants on everyone."

He looked up from Spinelli's laptop, where the computer whiz had set him up with house listings. Jason couldn't help but offer the blonde a grin as she swung her purse down on his desk like she owned the place, as usual.

"I take it you heard," he said in way of greeting, closing the laptop.

"Who hasn't?" Maxie asked, smirking. "Of course, I deserve all the credit."

Jason set the laptop on the coffee table and stood as she waited, arms folded.

"Yeah…about that," he replied, uncomfortably. "I have to thank you. I admit that…'women lessons' wasn't exactly…." He gestured in vain. "I wasn't too happy about it, but you helped me realize that I wasn't giving Elizabeth what she needed. And that's more important to me than any danger."

Maxie grinned. "Not as dumb as he looks."

Jason smirked, in spite of himself, and turned back toward the couch, but she spoke again.

"Actually, I wasn't talking about the lessons," she said coyly, and his brow furrowed.

"What were you talking about then?"

"I locked the door on the room in the hospital," Maxie informed him. "I knew you probably would from the inside, but I wanted to be sure there would be no interruptions, in case you forgot. And I also happened to mention a few things to Elizabeth about how you two are stupid."

He gave a wry smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome!" she said brightly, brushing past him and plopping on the couch.

He turned again. "How did we get out if you locked it from the outside? And how did you get keys?"

"I 'borrowed' some from the janitor," she replied. "And I unlocked it when I felt you'd had sufficient time to finish your lessons."

Jason's brow furrowed again, in spite of his amusement with her. She didn't seem nearly so annoying now that he was with Elizabeth.

"Finish my lessons?" he echoed.

"Well, that _was_ my goal, after all," Maxie said, smirking. "You officially passed when you got your head out of your ass and went for it with Elizabeth."

Jason shook his head, chuckling.

"And for the record? I was right," she told him, popping up from the couch. "You really needed to get laid."

Maxie punched his arm and went for her purse when her cell phone started ringing. Jason grinned, shaking his head, and went back to searching through houses.

* * *

"Hey, I just came from Jason's," Maxie announced as she walked past Sam into her apartment.

"Yes, please come in," Sam muttered sarcastically.

Maxie plopped on the couch. "He really wants to see you, you know."

"After what happened the other day?" she asked, brow furrowing. "He didn't mention that he'd talk to me later or anything…. And I heard he and Elizabeth are back together."

"Oh, you know the rumor mill in this town is crazy," she replied, smiling encouragingly. "You should go see him. Like I said, I get the vibe that he still has feelings for you."

Sam frowned thoughtfully while Maxie smirked triumphantly. She was totally going to get hers—she was just (a little) sad she wouldn't be there to see the look on that bitch's face.

* * *

Sam took a deep breath as she exited the elevator and headed for Jason's penthouse door. She'd been so upset when she heard Jason and Elizabeth were moving in together, and it only confirmed what feelings she thought she had for him. She definitely wasn't over Jason Morgan.

But if what Maxie said was true, there was no way he was going back to that stuck-up bitch.

She sighed and put her hand on the handle, bracing herself. She had to do it now. She took a last breath and flung open the door.

"Jason, Maxie sai—"

Sam froze in place, mouth dropping to the floor. Jason wasn't exactly clothed, and he wasn't exactly alone either. Elizabeth was straddling Jason on the pool table, buck naked. Luckily, Jason was sitting up, so any parts of Elizabeth that Sam never wanted to see were covered up.

She stared at them, they stared at her. Jason's eyes darkened and his grip visibly tightened on Elizabeth. He turned her a bit away to ensure Sam wasn't seeing anything inappropriate. The sudden movement snapped Sam out of it.

She cleared her throat several times. "Um…I'll just…I…uh…ahem. Yeah."

Sam swung the door shut and turned away, eyes wide and heart racing. That was the most horrifying thing she'd ever seen in her life.

Maxie came over there all the time to hang out with Spinelli. She would've known if that rumor was true, right? Sam halted as she reached the elevator, realizing for the first time that Jason had truly moved on with Elizabeth, and that she'd just been conned.

_Shit_.


	13. Do Not Disturb

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All belongs to _General Hospital_ creators and writers.

* * *

Maxie pounded on the door as hard as she could, but the moaning and groaning didn't stop.

"Okay, you guys, when I said that getting laid makes Jason happy, I didn't mean you had to do it all the time," she yelled, scowling.

There was no response, so she knocked again.

"Come on, you have to come up for air some time!" She tapped her foot. "Okay, I'm going to break down the door! Or…or I'll get one of the guards to, cause I don't think I could do it myself."

There was a high squeal and the grunting and moaning intensified. Maxie glared at the door.

"You know, Spinelli can only baby-sit your kids for so long!" she called. "He thinks that barbeque chips and orange soda are the only foods out there! Do you really want your kids to eat that for the rest of their lives?!"

The bed was squeaking a lot, but other than that, there was no verbal reply.

"Carly and Audrey have been calling nonstop!" she shouted, pounding on the door again. "Come out! Come out! Come out!"

"I'm a little—" there was a loud grunt "—busy at the moment, Maxie!" Jason called back at last.

"Okay." She paused, thinking. "The house is on fire! Gasp! Look, the—it's burning down! And there's no way out!"

There was no end to the moaning and groaning.

"You guys are completely hopeless!" Maxie yelled. "What if there was _actually_ a fire?!"

She sighed, shaking her head.

After a moment, she wandered back down the hallway, mumbling to herself, "At least Jason's not kicking me out of the house anymore."


End file.
